Mental Health Information

Gaslighting was one of his tools.

When I was about 35, one Saturday night, he called me and dared me to tell him how he had ruined my life. I immediately responded "How much time do you have?" I told him he'd better get a chair as it would take a while.

And so for about an hour, in chronological order, I listed in detail every incident including dialogue that he was beastly. Childhood into adolescence into adulthood. I must have cited more than 20 experiences.

He listened and denied remembering every single one. Not even arguing that I remembered incorrectly or I misinterpreted the events. Ronald Reagan tradition of "I don't remember that."

He was 75 and still cognizant. He remembered. And it infuriated me even more. The only "benefit" I had was I got to confront my abuser, but other than that, nothing was resolved and Dad revealed himself.