I don't like the person I'm becoming [View all]

As friends and relatives begin dropping like flies, I find myself angry that other people will be alive after I die. I'm pissed off that buildings and trees were here before me and will be here after me. I resent the fact that our house, which is in pretty much a state of decay--that's too grim a description; it's an old farmhouse that requires constant maintenance in order to stand--is going to be here--*even my decrepit old house*--after I've shed this mortal coil.

And while I have for a long time despised Trump voters, no compassion for them no matter how "misled" they claim to have been, I was not brought up to hate people I don't know. I have never had no interest in feeling compassion for people who are suffering, yet I am happy when Trump voters find out they can't afford health insurance. I delight in every bit of pain any Trumper is experiencing, and this is not my nature.

I became aware of this about me just the other day when I said "good" when I learned that Bret "Farve" has Parkinson's. That's *terrible*, to be happy when someone gets sick.

I think I'm as bad as Trumpers, who rejoice at owning the libs, and I don't like it.

Is anybody else feeling this way?