Mental Health Support

I am doing a bit better. The bike accident thing is proceeding and it looks pretty good that I will not only win against the driver's attempt to tag me for the damage to her vehicle, but the attorney thinks that this is 'actionable' (It is ongoing and so I cannot endanger the proceeding by babbling too much online.)

Being busy is always a good thing. I do still engage in some RPGs (Role Playing Games) and I am running one that has become something rather interesting as well as fun. Just imagine The Hardy Boys or The Three Investigators but as a bigger group who is more organized and is using a youth organization as their cover. I have been absolutely buried in the research and recollections of my horror history to create all the names of places as well as having to create the maps and people and images and lackeys and so on. (I have always been a horror buff. Saw the Exorcist when I was 11. One year after it came out. In a theatre. I loved it.)

But, I am always in pain. And, that wears one down so much that there are times when I cannot help but wallow in uselessness. And, that is something that offends me, Being useless when I used to be able to do so freaking much. I am a lump.

Also, I never sought 'fortune and fame'. I sought to be able to be what I am and earn a living doing it. One that allowed me to continue to do those things as well as (hopefully) create a life for someone else. The someone else happened, but that was it. Now, his hair is turning grey and it is not from aging. He is very taciturn most of the time. I feel so badly for being the albatross around his neck. I try to do what I can.

(I know what I am about to say, and I am sorry if it comes off as offensive because that is not my intent. You do know that the entire plan is to just stall everything until that orange gibbon passes, because it is looking like it will happen soon enough. Then, the entire situation will be gone as far as those in power are concerned. He is not going to see the inside of a jail cell. As to those cackling hens that are in the House, they are nothing and they know it. They command the spotlight because they make good copy. Which is why they continue to do that. They will get theirs soon enough.)

I know what my passing would do to him. That is always first and foremost in my mind. Because of what his passing would do to me, I understand. So, I try to struggle on. Such a waste of time though.