It's back. :( [View all]

Yesterday, I got the news I've been dreading: the high-grade serous endometrial cancer I battled with surgery, chemo, and radiation through 2023 - and since then with ongoing Herceptin infusions, scans, and tests to monitor - has metastasized to my lungs.

This puts me at Stage IV with a pretty dire prognosis. My oncologist is consulting other doctors about the risks of doing a needle biopsy for molecular analysis of the 'nodules' re: mutations (although I did have this in my first diagnosis, where genetic mutations were found - but Kaiser had sent me elsewhere, so something didn't transfer, I guess).

From there, I might repeat another six rounds of Carbo/Taxol, and lose my hair, eyelashes, and energy all over again -- to live how long? I know I shouldn't consult "Dr. Google," but it seems a matter of 5-12 months anyway, particularly if they don't do surgery. (And surgery has not been mentioned.)

I might just go straight to palliative care, but I have a baby granddaughter - a miracle! - and I want all the time I can to be with her and my daughter, to "put things in order," to write and record, to savor every minute and leave behind everything I can. The baby is 8 months old, so she will never remember me.

This is difficult. Life has given me many difficulties, so I'll find my way through this final one. (Meanwhile, please take good care of my husband, Stinky the Clown, and I hope you'll acknowledge whatever updates I, he, or we post as this goes forward.)

Meanwhile, I haven't told my daughter yet, and it weighs heavily on me. I want to tell her in person, but she's busy, taking the baby from place to place, working, managing her own healthcare needs... It's going to be extremely difficult for her to process, and I'm not sure how to spoon-feed it to her in small bites.

Thanks to all of you for 'being there' (meaning here, of course).

Sparkly (aka "Sparkly Fairy Princess," in my DU debut)