Healing vibes on the way to you.

I know you will make the right decision for you and your growing family.

I wish you all the miracles of modern medicine to get you healthy to live a long life.

for blm.
🤲🏽 🫶🏽 🤲🏽

Hard to believe I've had connections here for 20+ years!!

💐🫶🏽💐

Just take me on back to the 60s. Or the 70s. Or the 80s. Or the 90s.

cards on the table with your daughter as soon as possible. She will want a say in the memories you make.

Thank you for saying that.

Trying to make a plan now. I think a few things other family members have said have made her anxious.

My heart goes out to you.

Wishing you and yours the very best as you travel through this medical journey. Do not push yourself too hard, but I hope all your goals and objectives are met. Don't forget DU is here if you need a shoulder to lean on.

This is the only thing I can urge you to have as much as you can and to cherish each minute you can have. Because in the end this is the most important thing there is.

I am so sorry Sparkly. I am myself a cancer survivor and have lost several people in recent years. My Mother in law had a similar diagnosis and my children, her grandchildren were young. She spent as much time with them as possible and her children and took lots of pictures and also put a journal together and photo album together for my kids including video messages. My children were able to really appreciate these later and “know her”. I hope you can perhaps find doing a project like this to be an important gift you can create and leave as a legacy. And in the process love and live with your husband, daughter and granddaughter and this precious time.

Hopefully before I lose my hair (if I go through more chemo) and after I'm at a point where I won't just burst into tears every two seconds!

It’s perfectly understandable that you have other things on your mind these days. But if you can, I hope you’ll write down some thoughts, reactions, observations - whatever you’re able to do. Your view will help enlarge and explain, especially for the many of us who WEREN’T there that day, but just watched it happen from a safe distance.

That part of The Record needs to be represented.

Please know just how much we all care about you.

That's a helluva note, Sparkly.

I'm so sorry. Just be grateful for every sunrise...its all any of us can do. At least you have time to try and get affairs in order. My worst fear is going too fast to make sure things are settled...

Please keep us updated and let us give you all the love and support you deserve.

When I was diagnosed with kidney cancer last year, I came across a valuable source of information called "Smart Patients." People with similar diseases post about their experiences and it's been pretty valuable. It is especially useful for people fighting stage IV cancer. You might consider joining to hear the stories of others who are battling this disease.

https://www.smartpatients.com/communities/endometrial-cancer

It sounds like there are quite a few clinical trials and it looks like they are using immunotherapy like keytruda for endometrial cancer. It might be worth looking into. There are a lot of them at UCSF right now, but there are probably others throughout the country.

https://www.cancer.gov/research/participate/clinical-trials/disease/endometrial-cancer/treatment

I wish you all the best during this difficult time. Sending healing thoughts your way and sending good thoughts to Stinky as well.

I've been thinking I need a forum like that. I'll look into it!

GOP is going to take our struggle away from us by getting rid of preexisting conditions. But it's out of our hands. It's shocking how many Americans voted to kill friends and family.

I don't think you can spoon feed this to your daughter. My parents used to keep things from me and I felt excluded once I found out.

Hang in there as long as you can pain wise. I so appreciated my father's decades long fight against his cancers. I was never ready.

Tell Stinky your DU family is thinking of both of you. Do what gives you happiness. I enjoy watching all the sparrows that have taken over the courtyard!

I agree that there's no realistic way to spoon-feed this to my daughter, much as I would like not to overwhelm her. In my initial diagnosis, I think I understated the signs of the cancer's mutations and aggression. If there are only months left, it would be dishonest not to tell her the whole truth now. I'm just so afraid of her own reaction.

I will keep you in my prayers.

I am so very sorry. I do hope the miracle of modern medicine gives you more blessings of time with your family, especially that precious granddaughter.

The research hospitals like M D Anderson often have the very latest research and have found medications that work. My friend with aggressive kidney cancer that had metastasized lucked into the doctor who had just completed the most recent successful research on a new medication. Four years ago.

In the meantime, I will be praying for you and your family every day, for your healing and also that whatever time you have is blessed.

That’s so difficult. Sending prayers and

Sending you and yours love and strength.

But nothing compares, really. My best wishes for your future and the decisions you have before you.

I am so sorry.

Hard to find the words but a thought did come to mind

One of my best friends got a similar diagnosis re stage 4 lung cancer.
He did a lot of research. He elected to pass on more chemo and treatment that would make him sicker.
He was pretty good until the final two weeks when he got pretty ill.
We both thought he maximized his quality of life that remained - even though treatment might have prolonged his life.

Now everybody is different. You have to find your own path - what is best for you.
No one can be absolutely certain but I think his research and then asking doctors got him to the right decision for him.

I had a dear friend years ago who confronted ovarian cancer. I don't know the exact medical circumstances, but she kept "thinking positive" and "fighting." She went through more chemo, beyond the point that it seemed there was much gain for the pain... She died in bed, so sick and skeletal she was unrecognizable.

I'm hoping the doctors will be straight with me.

If they don't line up, get a 3rd

My favorite question for doctors: "if you were me, what would you do?"
That cuts a bunch of the BS out. They usually get right down to it.

There is probably a forum (something like this) where those in this situation compare notes
Patients talking to patients
That might be helpful to get their perspective.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Is staying home to be with loved ones. You will make the right decision for you and your family. Sotty after all the fighting it you will have to make this choice

as do we all. A hug for you

While there's nothing I can do or say to make this easier for you, please know I care and will be thinking of you.

I can tell you one thing. If I were your daughter, I would want to know sooner, rather than later. Someone else already posted that the most important thing you have now is time. It is time where you can make cherished memories for your family.

Maybe take some of that time to write letters/make videos, to your baby granddaughter. Tell her stories about her mom. Tell her stories about you and her grandfather. Tell her the things you would tell her if you were there with her while she is growing up. Because you will be there with her, through your daughter, your husband, and everyone who is close to you. But to be able to read/hear your words, that will be priceless to her.

I will be sending you every positive thought and energy that I can. I wish I could do more.

I need to keep my focus on that!

of you. Lean as hard as you need.

Keep an open mind.
And mostly focus on what you can leave for you desendants. Maybe start recording storys or have a kid interview over some sessions.

Here is a Zen Story:
Tigers and a Strawberry
The following is my all-time favourite Zen story, here translated by Paul Reps (Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, New York: Anchor/Doubleday, 1958, pages 22–23). See also “Relax” by Ellen Bass.

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away at the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

Yes, my goal is to recognize the strawberry while I still can.

Thank you for keeping us posted as you face yet another health challenge. I guess this is the kind of occurrence that make one really and seriously start treasuring every moment.

Write about it. Make a record of your thoughts and meditations and pondering of perplexing moments. Anyone lucky enough to read it will gain tremendous wisdom and insight into the human condition.

I've tended to write and write and write over the years, sketching and blathering and outlining to the point I need an editor to erase all things embarrassing before anyone discovers them.

But yes, I have been thinking about this state I'm in as the epitome of the human condition, in multiple ways.

Thanks for your comments and camaraderie over these many years!

You, your husband and your whole family heartfelt prayers and hugs.

Spend whatever time you have left with your family. That is the most important thing you can do. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family at this difficult time.

Life sure isn't fair, and FUCK CANCER SIDEWAYS.

Maybe a video to your granddaughter will be nice for you both. I hope you tell your daughter soon, she probably wouldn't want to be kept in the dark and it would be nice to have her to commiserate with. I'm glad Stinky is by your side; he's rock material from what I can gather.

I remember you from wayyy back!!

I'll definitely make a video when I can manage it without crying, and I have a plan to tell her. The weird thing is that I'm not sure we're the two who can co-commiserate easily, at least not right now. I think we each need stronger support before we'll be ready to mourn together.

Stinky is strong, but he's a softy beneath his gruff exterior, and needs more support than he knows how to ask for. That's part of why I worry so much about him.

and Stinky.

You love and you worry. That will never change.

One foot in front of the other wherever it takes you. You know you are loved; I know you'll embrace that. Hugs to you!!!

Nt

Best wishes to you during this difficult time.
There have been recent developments in the treatments of women's cancers. It sounds as if your treatments have not included these.
First, there have been wonderful results with Enhertu. It was given breakthrough status for breast cancer several years ago. And, it was recently approved for HER2-positive endometrial cancer. If not that, there is also immunotherapy, such as with Jemperli. There are probably others, as new treatments are coming in or are in trials. It may be worthwhile to have second opinion consultations (in-person, Video, phone, etc.) to see the options. Your MD could help you set those up. Also, from what I've seen, the physical impact of Enhertu is not nearly as harsh as the older chemo's. You have a community behind you. You shouldn't be overwhelmed or alone in this.

I have been having Herceptin (has many other names!) infusions every 3 weeks since ending chemo (because my serous endometrial cancer was HER2+), and I'm told this will continue along with whatever else comes next!

I have Kaiser, which lags a little behind the research, but I live in a metropolitan area with a lot of research hospitals. I reached out before, and will do so again at this stage, to be included in experimental trials.

Realistically though, I know this is a high-grade cancer, from some kind of rare, inherited genetic mutation.

Our hearts are with you as you travel this awful path.

and Sparkly I want to say I'm happy to "meet" you. Your husband "Stinky" has been one of the readers I've enjoyed over the years. Perhaps he posts more often in GD?

Whatever you choose in terms of treatment or care, I hope you will find a way to tell your daughter soon. I have lost 2 sets of grandparents, mom, brother, and numerous aunts/uncles through the years. Particularly with my 2 grandmothers I was very happy they wrote to me to let me know they had serious health issues (I had moved across the country after college at that point), so I found a way to get home to visit with each of them in person.

Yes, I came to DU first (as a former "Clarkie" in 2004) and Stinky ventured in a short while afterward. I'm sure he can be quite outspoken in GD at times.

Thank you for sharing your own family history. I hope you have a genetic counselor as part of your healthcare, and keep close watch on your own risk for cancer. If you have children, please be sure they know, too.

Oddly enough, I'd consulted a genetic counselor at Kaiser to discuss my risks, given multiple cancers in my family, including both of my parents and two of my sisters. I was told I had nothing to worry about! Two weeks later, I was diagnosed with this INHERITED genetic mutation. (My grandmother died of uterine cancer, but I was always told that "isn't inherited.&quot

There is so much they don't know. Y

Yes, I am trying to bring myself to video things for my granddaughter, but only when I can hold it together.

It's still 'sinking in.' I've arranged a time and place to break the terrible news to my daughter. One of my sisters is coming to visit this weekend.

I wrote a lot of questions to my doctor. ("Why not surgery?" "Are there clinical trials?" "Wasn't there genetic mutation information in the first analysis?" "Are we waiting for MRI results for my bone fractures before we get started, for some reason?&quot

Not that it's the most important thing except for morale including among the people around me, but I'm wondering again about trying a 'cool cap' to keep my hair. My infusion center has no such equipment though, so it'd involve dry ice and a lot of effort. Last time around, I did get a grant for this, but logistics made it impossible. I do have wigs (thanks to donations from neighbors and sisters), but they are so itchy and uncomfortable, I just wore caps. Any ideas or advice welcome.

I'm worried about how to spend each day, while I feel (and look) okay. Making videos for my granddaughter is a definite yes. Making an "advance directive," teaching Stinky how to do the e-banking, revisiting our wills, making a plan for my darling little demon of a dog. (Maybe I'll post something in the pet forum here!) Itemizing my library of books - some are valuable, some aren't, some were until the last dog destroyed them...

My thoughts are racing. It's hard to sleep. I'm sad, anxious, and feel guilty for having to leave people (and animals) who rely on me.

Again, thank you for being here for me!

I am hoping a treatment maybe can give you more time with your loved ones. 🤗

with a weighty sadness but also continued admiration of your ability to share your thoughts and experience and wisdom.

...breakthrough, may I suggest a reading for your family?

I'm currently healthy with no identified diseases, but I got a copy for my wife to have when my prognosis becomes poor as it surely will as I'm hardly immortal. I have also advised my sons that they should read it.

The book is by Palliative Care Physician Sunita Puri, it's called That Good Night.

Having lived through terminal illnesses with both my parents, and my wife's parents and through very rough times in family relations at the time as a result, I wish I'd been familiar with that book. It would have saved some of the grief layered on the grief of loss.

The wonderful thing I tell myself about dying, I remind myself as my inevitable mortality approaches, is that one cannot die without having lived. You have lived, and perhaps you can see, it makes all the pain of facing death to have done so more bearable.

I wish you peace.