Broken News: Trump Puts out Call for Garage Bands at UFC [View all]

Donald Trump is desperate over cancellations by performers he invited to perform at his UFC event outside the White House. So many have canceled that he has posted an ad in the DC area Craig's List, inviting garage bands from the local suburbs to contact him. The ad reads:

Garage Bands Needed for White House Appearance. The exposure is worth millions to you, so this is an unpaid gig. Contact the White House switchboard and provide contact information. Audition Tape Required.