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In reply to the discussion: The Quiet Deprogramming of Trumpers Has Begun [View all]
Bernardo de La Paz
(60,320 posts)20. One of the biggest most important things we can do
One of the biggest most important things we can do is use these moments of revelation to guide them to understand that empathy helps themselves. Some sadly will never see it but it is worth a try because you can open many eyes.
They got where they are (maga then wavering then reforming) because of a lack of empathy for others. I would suggest helping them see that. Not as a "rub their nose" in it moment, but as "this is how you can avoid this mistake in the future".
Democratic and Republican Americans are remarkably similar. Build on that. In general, the following things are true:
However the key difference is that Democrats, progressives, and liberals add empathy for broader communities.
The Republicans / RepubliConned lack empathy and that distorts the beliefs they have in common with us. Propaganda and divisiveness have polarized the populace and made the distortion worse. Racism, misogyny, sexism (anti 2SLGBTQ+) and religious bigotry result from the lack of empathy. In particular, it warps their religion and their sense of justice.
They think (and have been trained) that they need to protect their families from the "other". Of course that is false since their worst enemies ultimately are their own unempathic groups. We all repeat the Rev Neimoller "First they came" thing in variations. maga believe they are immune. When they are turning is the moment to let them know that they are not immune.
They think (and have been trained) that love of their country requires them to reject diversity and inclusion. When they are turning, teach them that empathy is not weakness.
They think (and have been trained) that religious fervour requires bigotry and discrimination. Teach them that protecting the rights of others protects their own rights. Show them that narrow-minded rejection of others did not protect them from the tRump regime.
They think (and have been trained) that justice demands that anyone outside of their group should be treated harshly and those within the group should be treated gently. Find ways to teach them that justice requires justice for all or there will be justice for none.
They think (and have been trained) that justice demands that people outside of their group do not deserve the same degree of freedom as they deserve. Find ways to teach them that freedom means freedom for all or there will be freedom for none.
When you encounter a crushed maga, don't crush them more. That only teaches them to retreat from empathy. Show them empathy (however hard that is) and guide them to opening up and growing their empathy. Teach them empathy by being empathic. Be the change you desire.
Nobody is pure, nobody is a saint. Those who can't forgive others will not be forgiven themselves. A lack of forgiveness is a lack of empathy.
All young children have empathy for all others. Just like all two year olds are scientists but have it beaten out of them by the culture, so too do many of them have empathy beaten out of them by the culture and the power structure.
What needs to be done requires empathy that will be hard to muster but must be done. If you reach out to a crumbling maga and find their walls are still high, don't fight. Disengage and walk away and leave them to the crumbling. They may be more receptive later.
But where you find openings, teach empathy.
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That's a tough pill to swallow considering they are more likely upset about their money but not about anything else.
chowder66
Apr 2025
#1
I think I can be coolly polite when trumper relatives/acquaintances engage me, but I won't engage them.
CrispyQ
Apr 2025
#30
At this point I can't see much reason to care whether they love Trump or hate him. The damage has already
Vinca
Apr 2025
#3
I don't mind if they are afraid to talk about it, as long as they feel shame that changes their behaviour.
Bev54
Apr 2025
#13
Yes. Crushed magas need to learn. Teach them. See my post #20. . . . . nt
Bernardo de La Paz
Apr 2025
#22
Here's the problem. They have a button that can be pushed that will lead them down the same path.
Baitball Blogger
Apr 2025
#17
Thank you BdLP - that is a rich post that will take some time to digest properly.
erronis
Apr 2025
#29
Novel as they may be, seize all opportunities for communication. . . nt
Bernardo de La Paz
Apr 2025
#31
Your post shows a preference for a surface analysis. It is understandable, but not productive or effective.
Bernardo de La Paz
Apr 2025
#37
You showed us the surface that we know so well. I tried deeper analysis. And you proposed no solutions
Bernardo de La Paz
Apr 2025
#48
Thanks. That explains it, and I'm sorry about your traumatic experiences. I wish you well. . . .nt
Bernardo de La Paz
Apr 2025
#69
Fair post. My take is that it is the same belief system +1, but the perceptions and reasoning are different
Bernardo de La Paz
Apr 2025
#70
I'm wondering whether the one MAGA cultist in my band is still in love with trump.
mwb970
Apr 2025
#21
While I agree we should welcome those who have "seen the light", I wouldn't trust them until they prove they can change.
HeartsCanHope
Apr 2025
#28
I married an (ex) evangelical and we shared some good times - until she found her bejesus again.
erronis
Apr 2025
#34
People have a need for direction and a certain amount of control of the world around them. Unfortunately
chowder66
Apr 2025
#43
I suspect most of them will never vote for D. They're still going to vote for R but just another one.
Meowmee
Apr 2025
#54
In trying to imagine my own reaction if the enormity of my mistake was beginning to hit me but I
summer_in_TX
Apr 2025
#67