Death with dignity [View all]

I posted recently about a friend who is dying from prostate cancer. Just thought I’d do a follow up. He’s terminal and has already aquired the prescription to end his own life. I figured I’d go up and visit and say my goodbyes. I booked a hotel for a couple nights but ended up staying almost a week. He can get up and move around a little with a walker. I took him to Costco when I first got up there that really seemed to cheer him up. He lives alone and I’m sure sitting there by himself is very depressing. He has local friends that stop by and bring him stuff.

When I offered to come up he told me he’d talk to me out on the porch for a few minutes but when I got there he invited me inside we didn’t talk long since I’d just driven for 8 hours and had to go checkin at the hotel. He looked terrible, lost all his hair and 35 lbs since I saw him in the summer. When I’d talked to him a couple weeks ago it sounded like he was ready to pull the plug. The third day he was drinking and was being obnoxious. I was trying to be supportive but after awhile I just left. I checked out of the hotel next morning and stopped to see him on they way out of town. He wasn’t openly apologetic nor did he ask me to stay. That’s his personality, but I could tell he really wanted me to hang around so I booked another place and stayed till Sunday. I’d go over a few hours per day. He had really turned around by the time I left, back to his old self. He’s a fighter. Has already tried all options and has lasted much longer than anyone imagined. The doctor got a new chemo treatment approved. When I got there he said he wasn’t going to do it and had everything lined up to end his life but by the time I left he said he would try the new chemo.

I certainly made no effort to talk him into that. I admire how he’s facing things. But as bad off as he is I don’t think the cancer will kill him for a month or two. He’s on pain pills but still living alone. I’m pretty sure when he can’t live alone at his own house that he’ll pull the plug. He’s already been on hospice twice. By the time I left I had the feeling I’d see him again. When I first got there I thought it was a last goodbye.

I’d talked about this in an earlier post it’s just something I’ve thought about lately. My brother died earlier this year from ALS and where he lived there was no option for medical assistance to end your own life. I’ve read that only about 20% of people who received the dwd drugs ever used them. For myself I could see the comfort of knowing you could use them if you chose.