It's okay. Really. I didn't really announce it here so don't feel like you missed it. She was in her nineties and barely with us at that point.
She had a few lucid moments with my sisters in the last few weeks where she said that she wanted go and they told her it was okay if she was ready. Then a couple days before xmas she tested positive for the virus. We knew it would kill her, so we made sure she was not suffering through medication. It was kind of a blessing in that she was ready to go and might have lived for years being horribly miserable. It feels better to know she isn't suffering anymore. She was declining for ten years and two of my sisters were caring for her much of that time. And we all learned that there comes a point when family cannot provide the care and safety an aging parent requires.
Just remember to take care of yourself too, it's not being selfish, it's making sure your needs are also met because what you are doing is fucking hard in every way imaginable and you can't take care of others if you are not well.
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