Elder-caregivers

this with my mom. Do not feel guilty about a facility. The best thing for dementia sufferers is routine, familiarity and feeling safe. My mom resisted mightily, until her own “event”. Once settled in, during a moment of clarity she told me “I know why I’m here, and it’s ok”. She felt safe. A Place For Mom was incredibly helpful in my search, they are a caring organization.

The one drawback is none of them are perfect. They are ALL understaffed. You have to be involved in her care. I told them a million times mom was super prone to UTIs, but I always had to push for a test when mom started acting more loopy than usual.

Look for a robust activities program and an enclosed outdoor space where she can walk. And ask if they’ve had Covid in the facility and if there have been deaths, and what their protocols are.

It’s a terribly sad thing to watch them disappear one memory at a time. Talk with her as much as you can while you have her, let her lead the conversation. If she says it’s 1971, just agree with her. I just lost my mom after four years in care, and even tho I knew it was coming, it was still heartbreaking, and I thought of a million things I wish I’d asked her about.

My heart goes out to you. You’re welcome to message me any time.