Elder-caregivers

alcina

(602 posts)

9. Thank you, Habibi

Sun Jul 6, 2014, 08:48 PM

Jul 2014

It is certainly curious: My mom was briefly in assisted living before she came to live with me, and she was nonstop trouble there. Complained about everyone, argued with anyone who got in her way, took others' belongings, wandered off. This was when the signs were starting to become obvious, but the place she was living apparently cared more about having a paying resident, and was less concerned about the appropriateness of the living situation.

But at her current place, they go on and on about what a joy she is. Almost weekly, someone -- the owner, the staff, the medical people we see -- comments about how my mother's "real personality" is still intact. A favorite line from her doc: "It's just so wonderful that despite the dementia, her basic personality still shines through. That must be such a consolation for you."

It is, but not for the reason she thinks.

Life is interesting....

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Just curious about everyone's story. How many are [View all] Habibi Jun 2014 OP

I've got distant support. politicat Jun 2014 #1

I'm glad your situation is "reasonably manageable." Habibi Jun 2014 #2

Blog xecaps Oct 2014 #20

Are you saying that your state somehow pays for assisted living? I don't know what you mean pnwmom Oct 2014 #22

No, the state doesn't pay. We do. Her former state regs put her in LTC. politicat Oct 2014 #24

pretty much alone here Alameda Jun 2014 #3

Do you have any supportive resources? Habibi Jun 2014 #4

Resources for respite: politicat Jun 2014 #5

I think that "first rule of caregiving" is awesome and yet Habibi Jun 2014 #6

What xecaps Oct 2014 #23

Am I sure about what? Habibi Oct 2014 #25

Mostly alone alcina Jul 2014 #7

Vent away! and welcome! Habibi Jul 2014 #8

Thank you, Habibi alcina Jul 2014 #9

Isn't it, though? Habibi Jul 2014 #10

wow xecaps Oct 2014 #21

You hit a sore spot with that -- Hell Hath No Fury Aug 2014 #11

Ugh, I'm sorry for your situation. Habibi Aug 2014 #12

Thanks for the support -- Hell Hath No Fury Oct 2014 #13

Venting is good! Habibi Oct 2014 #15

I live with my grandson and his family. I also get help with some of my care. I get rides to health jwirr Oct 2014 #14

Very important to accept help Habibi Oct 2014 #16

I ended up placing her in a foster care home which I was fortunate enough to have trained myself. jwirr Oct 2014 #17

In so many cases Iwillnevergiveup Oct 2014 #18

I *do* have an Aunt nearby Aerows Oct 2014 #26

Going alone Aerows Oct 2014 #19

im alone... samnsara Apr 2017 #27

My brother lives in town, and recently retired, but... LudwigPastorius Mar 2022 #28