Elder-caregivers

My mom died of congestive heart failure a year ago. Sounds like your dad: more and more trouble walking, not having any appetite, not wanting to do anything. She lost about 30 lbs in her last six months.

And I think her dementia was vascular, too--when she'd go into the hospital and they'd get all her numbers better, she was much more like her old self mentally. It wasn't like Alzheimer's because she knew people and could talk and remember the distant past very well. Just had short term memory loss and trouble figuring out daily chores. (there are 80+ different kinds of dementia.)

But she couldn't stay in the hospital permanently. Her decline lasted about six months, and I wish I had known how long (or how short) this period would be. If I had known, we wouldn't have moved her to a memory care unit, but just kept her in the assisted living home she was more used to and added extra help. Moving threw her for a loop and she never felt right in the new place. Besides, she was in and out of the hospital every few weeks. Probably should have had hospice care much earlier.

And here I was, taking her to the dentist and the eye doctor, as if those things were really necessary!

During her last hospitalization they recommended hospice and we moved her there to be treated in the facility. She was no longer able to walk or even stand without help and was completely incontinent. She went in on a Friday and died early the next Wednesday. She thought she was still in a hospital.