Elder-caregivers

You are NOT horrible. What you are going through is torture. It’s awful and exhausting, frightening and lonely, and of course you lose yourself sometimes. I know what it’s like. You aren’t horrible, just human.

Other people here have offered good advice. Getting a proper doctor’s appointment for him is a good start. I also suggest the Alzheimer’s association; they offered to try to find me some respite care, even though my sweetheart’s diagnosis was not Alzheimer’s. I found an online community of caregivers and people with his disease was a great help. Health Unlocked, based in the UK, is the larger organization, and there are specific groups within that for various illnesses. Having a safe place to vent was wonderful. I think you can do that here, too.

Hang on. There are folks here who care.