Internalized victim-blaming. (possible trigger) [View all]

A girl I really didn't know very well (but I hope to get to know her better) talked about the self-blame she felt when, as a preschooler, her abuser played with her body's responses as well as her body.

I told her a story about a girl I knew who blamed herself for "giving in" (when to do otherwise she knew would mean physical abuse and possibly the abuse of her siblings) to advances when she was a teenager, from her stepfather. And her immediate reaction was -- Of course it's not her fault, she was a child! When I pointed out that so was she... and much younger.... it sunk in for a second, and then I could see the internalized victim blaming taking back over, to try to come up with a reason why somehow it still had to be her fault.

I find myself doing this too, blaming myself, internalizing that societal voice that if only ... if only ... if only .... I could have not been raped or abused.

Any suggestions on how to overcome that internalized societal voice that makes you blame yourself?