I think I could give Sanders speeches for him.... [View all]

Though I have to admit I would have trouble keeping a straight face.

Look how many people we have at this rally! There are thousands here and more outside. (Memo to self, we need to change the rules so that enthusiastic people get more than one vote.)

We started campaign with only 3% of the vote and the last (cherry picked national) poll I saw we had almost caught up. (Dang, why in the heck keep getting further and further behind in the delegate count.)

When we started this campaign ten months or so ago we had no money and no volunteers. Now we have hundreds of thousands volunteers and the money keeps poring in. (With any luck it will take a while for them to figure out that they are poring money down a dry hole.)

And you know 90% of the new wealth in this country is going.....

Well, you know the rest - why doesn't just use a digital recording and lip sync the speech so he can save his voice for something important - like a concession speech.