A poor neighborhood on the outskirts of New Orleans, Louisiana is making a bold move to bring attention to their epidemic of gun violence. They have a plan to make their neighborhood look like a well-to-do suburb in order to get the national news to take notice.

“Well, we just want some national media attention to maybe get some legislation moving to stop gun violence,” said a local town council-member. “We’ve seen that a lot of the gun violence coverage is in wealthy neighborhoods, so we figured we’d do our best to get noticed. We’ll begin by throwing a fundraiser for PETA and hold a $500/plate meal at the local high school. Of course, we’ll have to paint and clean the school ourselves since funding has been cut to give money to suburban charter schools that none of our children can seem to get into. After the fundraiser, we’ll ask everyone to rename their children to names like Trent, Bruce, Alice, Mildred, etc. to give the appearance that our children are worth caring about too. However, in order to really sell our dire situation we may have to make everyone’s bank account appear larger than it actually is and give out loaner Mercedes, Range Rovers, and maybe even a Tesla. We’re really hoping that once we get national coverage other cities will take our cue and do similar manipulations of the media. We’ve already heard rumors that the South side of Chicago is in need of a lot of attention, but they haven’t figured out how to nab the media just yet. Hopefully, we can finally get some proactive legislation done.”

Free Wood Post will let you know if this manipulation of the media is successful, or if they really just don’t give a shit.

(This article was written not to diminish the atrocities that happen in wealthy areas, but rather to bring attention to the fact that the majority of gun violence goes unnoticed. Everyone matters… everyone)