Coping with Divorce or Separation

You need to go to court over your ex's not paying the mandated alimony. See if you can file on your own behalf without a lawyer. Or shop around and see if another lawyer will accept a lower retainer.

I'd guess you should probably no longer count on him paying any part of your son's college costs. Take the grandfather up on his offer, make sure that either you can cover the rest of the costs, or that your son attends a relatively low cost school. Starting out at a community college can be a good idea. And pay lots of attention to whatever financial aid packages are offered, and make sure you absolutely understand the difference between grants or scholarships, which don't have to be paid back, and loans that do.

I can only offer lots of sympathy that your ex has behaved so badly all along.