Coping with Divorce or Separation

I'm not sure if I'm replying in the right place and don't want to break etiquette but I just joined and saw this topic so I though I'd chime in. I will be divorced officially 1 year next month, I have full custody of 3 children and my ex wife is not paying child support. Last year I was making a good living, had healthcare, nice 401k, family YMCA membership, was rapidly advancing in a large corporation and I was working WAY too much, but I was on the cusp of a promotion that would have put me on a good 45 hour work schedule. My now ex-wife and I were separated with joint custody and I spent every minute I could with my kids but she found ways to keep me from them. I had just rented a house for her and the kids which I intended to keep paying for as well as utilities, sports, everything since she had never worked and I even moved her, built a storage shed bc she needed more room, and did all of this while working 80 hour weeks and taking management courses to prep for advancement. I had a vacation scheduled for Christmas and a fund I deducted from every check all year to give my kids a great Christmas. On my first weekend off in some time I was looking forward to some time with my kids, they are now 5, 7 &9. I talked to my ex on the way home(I would stay at the new house bc I was still unpacking her and fixing things up) and she asked me to pick up dog food, which I did. I arrived to an empty house, she was gone with the kids all weekend and I was restless and worried the whole time, barely eating or sleeping at all. The police said there was nothing they could do. I returned to work Monday at 4am and set everything up to where another supervisor could monitor, called the kindergarten and elementary school around 8 to make sure they were there and informed them I would be checking them out. I told my boss I had a family emergency and was leaving but everything was handled. Now, apparently when you have joint custody the school informs the other parent that you're checking them out and when I got to the school about 1 1/2 hours after calling them, police were waiting. They didn't arrest me right away but detained me while my ex was apparently filling out an arrest warrant saying I was abusive, after some time I saw a cop speaking into his radio and then proclaim "We got it!" At that time I was arrested without being told why, I was not ever told a charge or allowed to arrange bail. I went before a redneck judge who held me for 30 days before allowing me to make bail, I didn't even have a lawyer. My jail time included my birthday, Christmas and New Years and also cost me my job of 6 years including family medical and dental insurance. Eventually the charges were thrown out but I was left with no job and denied unemployment, I had to cash out my retirement and pay extensive legal fees related to the divorce. There is a lot more but I am being too long winded so if anyone is interested I'll talk more about it later. Now my ex has seen the kids once in the past year and not paid child support, I have spent everything I had, and I did go back to working but after all 3 kids and myself got strep, I was fired for missing too much work. I don't know what to do and I can't find a job here in Alabama, I guess I'm a lazy food stamp recipient even though I've been working my whole life.