Bereavement

Then there are holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. Then his clothes don't smell like him any more.

I don't know if the pain of losing someone gets better or if we just get used to it because it's a part of us. I do know that in the first few months, grief intrudes at the most inopportune times, like when we're putting some gas in the car or walking down the street. It seems to come in waves. Carry plenty of Kleenex.

People who aren't grieving are often uncomfortable around people who are.

What you can do: First, realize your job right now is to grieve and slowly let go. Second, think about couple you've known where a partner has died, maybe reach out to them and talk about how they got through it. Do a lot of listening. Third, consider talking to a professional if grief starts to turn into paralysis. Fourth, forgive your family. Try not to resent them for being uncomfortable. Fifth, try not to make any major decisions for the first six months, minimum.

Be good to yourself. It takes a lot of energy to grieve, so eat, even if everything tastes like cardboard. If you aren't ready to figure out how to shop and cook for one, the freezer section in the supermarket is your best friend., supplemented with some fresh fruit and veg. After all, nobody else is perfect, why should you be?

Most of us here are a PM away.