Atheists & Agnostics

Last edited Wed May 1, 2024, 08:40 PM - Edit history (1)

Awake in the car headed back home to NC from Montgomery, listening to my four babies sleeping in the back of the station wagon while my crazy husband went careening up and down and around the narrow, two-lane mountain roads (pre I-85) in the dense fog at 80 miles an hour.

Sitting there alone with my thoughts and grief, trying to find consolation in the vision of my baby brother rising from his mortal body and flapping his gossamer wings heading off toward heaven, it occurred to me well, if hubby wrecks the car and we all die at least we'll all go flapping off to heaven and be with Brother. All of a sudden I nearly laughed out loud at the thought that I could actually believe such a thing and me now a full grown woman. And I absolutely hated that I couldn't share my epiphany with Brother.

On that foggy mountain I found my consolation that night and later in knowing that our dear grandmother would take great comfort in that heavenly vision. She was one of the only "christians" I ever knew who practiced what my granddaddy (a Southern Baptist preacher) preached. A wonderful, good-hearted person she was. She deserved whatever comfort her religion brought her. For myself, I was just glad we had him for 19 years.

But I had absolutely no one to share it with - then. A few years later I found many atheist friends and kindred spirits in the anti-war movement. And did my best to teach my children to think things through and believe in whatever came to make sense to them.

There were signs when I was younger, though. I did give a lot of thought to arguments I had with my grandfather when I was a young teen-ager and would ask him things like, where exactly did Adam and Eve's son Cain GO to find his wife? And why is it men have all their ribs if god took one? He would give me some cock and bull story that made no sense to either of us. Made me wonder if he really believed all that stuff, way before my brother died.

Wat