I don't know where to post this, but a close friend is passing soon & I'm asking for positive vibes [View all]

Last edited Mon Mar 6, 2023, 02:07 PM - Edit history (1)

Usually I post everything in GD, but lately it’s chock-full of really bad news. The Lounge is home to a lot of people, but not really me. So I’m dropping this here…

Leona is 80 this year, and we met 30 years ago when we entered an academic program in Mythological Studies with a degree emphasis in depth psychology. It was one of the most meaningful things I’ve ever done, and of all the people I met there, Leona became a friend for life, a treasure.

Leona lived her life with intention — decisively, and with courage. She changed her name and chose Volition as her middle name. And now she is choosing to die with intention — decisively, and with courage. She’s done. She’s in hospice and refusing water and food. She is leaving before she loses her Self to another stroke.

When I met her the first day of classes I was warmed by the sparkle in her eyes. Each in the class were asked what mythic creature had brought us here, and I was so serious in my answer. Leona said, “The Little Red Hen, because she said ‘I will do it myself,’ and she did.”

When her daughter decided to transition to be a man, from that moment Leona changed pronouns and used his chosen name. (He was still a pill to his mom, but my own family relations are enough of a mystery to deal with so I can’t judge. ) Then he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and wasn’t expected to live more than a couple of years. That was over 25 years ago, and he died a only few months ago living in another state, still estranged. This was only one painful thread running thru the tapestry of her life, but she met it all with intention and courage.

The tapestry Leona wove for herself was rich with experience. She lived frugally in a vacation cabin in the national forest for decades so she could do what really mattered to her, like travelling just about everywhere, and studying for a degree that makes most people say, “What?” She described the rigors of her journeys in vivid detail — in Antarctica a penguin fell madly in love with her (well, who wouldn’t? I thought ) . She was slip-sliding up a slope, the ice all covered in penguin poop, when she found herself on her knees nose to beak with a penguin. He bowed to her. Well what would you do? So she bowed back. He bowed again, so did she. At some point he waddled away, but soon returned with a rock in his beak, which he dropped at her feet with a soulful look. At that point she realized his intentions were serious, so she left to rejoin the humans. When she told me the story I laughed like hell.

Leona’s the reason our little group of friends sought out tiny local museums across the counties, and made day-trips to Los Angeles to visit special exhibits at their great museum, LACMA. So much, so much.

She took little part time office jobs at Adult Ed, and saw they needed a nude model for the art class. She was about 70 by then. She thought, why not? She thought, oh dear that's scary. She decided, I will do it. And she did. After one session she asked a student if she could have his sketch — she had it beautifully framed, and by the Goddess she looked like a Neolithic queen with her belly and long breasts, and head held high.

Whatever will I do without her?

Gentle crossing dear friend.