Religion

1. Watered down KoolAid is a lousy drink.
2. That odor you smell on Mrs T. When she comes in to give all the kids a hug is booze, and she is sloshed.
3. The damned Catholics from the cathedral across the street keep parking in our lot.
4. Homeless people who come into the church office during the week are to be expelled.
5. Offering envelopes make great drawing paper during long sermons.
6. The happy little songs in kids Sunday school are at odds with the sermons, which are about how we are all depraved sinners.
7. It is more fun to have a guest organist who is not accustomed to a massive pipe organ, so they pull out all the stops and the floor vibrates due to the volume.
8. They will call you a confirmand when Dad drags you into church, even if you aren't and don't believe any of the hooey.