Non-Fiction

Last edited Tue Jun 14, 2022, 04:42 PM - Edit history (1)

In thinking more about Deception #3, let's just say for purposes of discussion that this is what actually happened: Vanderbilt University threw Patterson a 2-year terminal Master of Arts degree -- while knowing all along, he was only there for one year, 1969-1970, and he in no way completed all the requirements of that degree.

That would mean: Patterson's highest level of education is actually only:

a Bachelor's degree from Manhattan College

And, Patterson may have thought to himself, prior to writing his new memoir:

"A Bachelor's degree? From Manhattan College? That is just not impressive enough! I am, after all, the best selling author in the universe!!! I am SUPERIOR TO ALL!!! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY: I WENT TO HARVARD!!!"

So, what does Patterson do? Who does he turn to for advice? I imagine this: Patterson calls up his pal, Jeb Bush, who seems to know all about education and deception. And I imagine this is how the conversation goes:

Patterson: "Jeb, is there any way I can say in my new memoir that I SHOULD have gone to Harvard?"

Jeb: "Sure! When the CIA created the 1974 federal law, Family Educational Right to Privacy - known as FERPA - , they specifically wrote that all college college applications are PRIVATE documents -- and can NEVER be: public records."

Patterson: "Really? I did not know that. So, I can just lie and say in my memoir: I applied to Harvard?"

Jeb: "Well, you should also give a reason why the application did NOT result in you being ADMITTED to Harvard. You have to invent some kind of snafu. For example: my son, George P. had only average undergraduate grades from Rice University -- and anyone can see his grades from Rice, just by asking for his personnel file from Miami Dade School District where he taught for a year. But when he wanted to go to law school, knowing he would eventually go into politics, he made a point of telling this lie to the media: He applied to Yale Law School, NYU Law School, etc - a whole bunch of law schools that obviously he was not academically eligible for. . Then he said to the media: But they all rejected me, except for University of Texas. That made it seem like: he suffered some kind of discrimination from these northeastern law schools - he's a victim! Because he was a Bush. See? He couldn't go around telling the media: I only applied to one law school in Texas because of my not-so-hot grades. You have to kind of pin the blame on some OTHER reason."

Patterson: "Huh. Well, I'm thinking now - maybe I can pin the blame for me not getting into Harvard on - a priest? At the Catholic high school? Maybe pretend HE was the one in charge of my college application? And he messed up by not sending my application to Harvard?"


Jeb: "That sounds really good! Because many people in this country never go to college. They have no idea what the application process to college entails. And even more people have no idea what the procedures are in a private Catholic school - the public does not know that YOU are solely for your college application."

Patterson: "Well, I am feeling a whole lot better now, Jeb! Thanks! I'll blame it all on the priest! Hey - by the way - did you ever lie to the press and say you applied elsewhere? And you didn't?"

Jeb: "Jim, I've told so many lies it's hard to keep track. But I do recall that in Feb 2015, after the Boston Globe came out with that piece on my private high school years - and correctly revealed that I was almost expelled from high school for low grades - I had a bunch of my pals in Texas get together and write an article for some Texas newspaper, saying that: 'Jeb COULD have gone to YALE, but, Jeb chose to go to college in Texas because I missed Texas.' Some crap like that. Because even though I was a LEGACY at Yale, by that time, Yale had changed, and they would not have accepted me with my VERY low high school grades under any circumstances."

Patterson: "Jeb, thanks for your help. You're such a smart guy. Now, in my memoir, I will be sure to say the priest screwed up - BY NOT SENDING IN MY COLLEGE APPLICATION TO HARVARD -- so that the public thinks: 'Gee, Patterson COULD HAVE GONE TO HARVARD!"

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And so:

In Patterson's memoir, he tells this story of a priest in his Catholic high school failing to send in Patterson's college applications to the colleges Patterson has selected -- which include Harvard. And instead: the priest sendt the application to only one college, Manhattan College, a Catholic college.

Consequently, in his memoir, Patterson leaves readers with the impression: WOW! THIS PATTERSON GUY COULD HAVE GONE TO HARVARD! IF IT WEREN'T FOR THAT IDIOT PRIEST!!!