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MIButterfly

(3,142 posts)
Mon May 11, 2026, 12:01 AM May 11

I've always gotten along with my friends' boyfriends and husbands [View all]

They were nice men and I genuinely liked them. My best friend's current boyfriend is the scum of the earth and that's the nicest thing I can say about him. He's a career criminal who has been in and out of prison his entire adult life. He's currently out on bond, which she paid for. He went from a jail cell to a beautiful home where he eats her food, drives her car and the only pot he has to piss in is hers. I met him once and that was one time too many. If I saw him walking toward me, I'd cross the street to avoid passing him on the sidewalk. That's how scary-looking he is. I have no idea what she sees in him. She's always been intelligent, independent and responsible; now she's none of those things. I think he tries to control every aspect of her life and I just don't get it. Did I mention he's also 15 years younger than she is? I think he's using her and taking advantage of her generous nature and this whole thing is not going to end well.

I'm not the only one who feels this way. Other people are worried about her too. I tried to talk to her about it once, but she just dismissed everything I had to say. I haven't brought it up again because I don't want to be a nag about it. I'm also afraid it would push her closer to him.

She lives about three hours away from me. Since he's been around, she doesn't communicate with me as much as she used to. The only time we ever talk on the phone is if she's in the car coming down here to visit her family. Her texts are few and far between (although I text her all the time) and it's usually late at night when I assume he's sleeping.

In the beginning, I was worried and scared for her. I still feel that way for the most part but a few times lately I've been really mad about it. I mean, seriously pissed. It's like she doesn't care about anybody or anything else in the world except him. We have 60 years behind us. 6-0. That's a lifetime and now I feel like I don't even know her. I'm also afraid I'm losing her and there's nothing I can do about it. It's breaking my heart.

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I think that some people just react to flattery, and as we get older, who knows? usonian May 11 #1
I had to part ways NJCher May 11 #2
Sounds dangerous. I wish the best for her. live love laugh May 11 #3
Thank you, live laugh love MIButterfly May 11 #13
may I ask, how did these two meet? Skittles May 11 #4
This is the most unbelievable part to me MIButterfly May 11 #9
scary Skittles May 11 #14
Sadly, her son passed away last year. He was only 37 MIButterfly May 11 #15
oh my Skittles May 11 #16
It's the age difference Figarosmom May 11 #5
I don't know what she's enamored wirh MIButterfly May 11 #10
yup. i had a brief fling w a much younger guy. mopinko May 11 #17
Sorry to hear that. Haggard Celine May 11 #6
Tell her how YOU feel... BurnDoubt May 11 #8
I have told her how I feel and I only talked about him one time MIButterfly May 11 #11
When she has her Epiphany... BurnDoubt May 11 #21
Thank you so much, BurnDoubt MIButterfly May 11 #25
Sorry to hear what this is putting you through, MIButterfly. calimary May 11 #7
Thank you for your kind words, calimary MIButterfly May 11 #12
some girls just like bad boys rampartd May 11 #18
I've always wondered about that. It never made any kind of sense to me MIButterfly May 11 #19
on the back of every harley is a woman who thought she could change him. rampartd May 11 #20
And a jacket that sez: BurnDoubt May 11 #22
for evolutionary reasons, i guess rampartd May 11 #23
How about THAT! BurnDoubt May 11 #24
You say she comes down to see her family. Could you try to see her then and maybe get to know the family. ratchiweenie May 12 #26
I'm friends with her sister and she hates him MIButterfly May 12 #27
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