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In reply to the discussion: How do I get through this? [View all]

calimary

(84,606 posts)
24. Oh man...
Sun Oct 6, 2024, 12:54 AM
Oct 6

I’ve read your posts, slightlv, and the first thing that they make me think of is: “how would I handle all this? How on earth?”

I would guess the only thing you can realistically do, after taking precautions like you’ve done, is face up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Your journey is seriously one of those “teachable moments” (did Obama coin that phrase?) that I bet a BUNCH of us here would be smart to learn, or at least be open to. I mean, shit, things might be rolling along just fine but then tomorrow could bring some calamity like a major auto accident or serious bathroom or kitchen flood or some such thing.

It seems so trivial to describe the burst pipe that surprised us back in mid-January, that utterly destroyed our guest bedroom. Right down to the floorboards and wall insulation and other basics. And sheesh - who’s prepared for THAT? What a mess and we’d never experienced ANYTHING like that. And yet, once we hoped everything had thoroughly dried (summer had arrived!) we risked taking tentative steps toward trying to get it all rehab’d. We got reputable advice and groped our way through all of it, but it finally got finished by the end of August.

But that is NOTHING compared with what you’re dealing with, and a WHOLE LOT more serious! And again, I guess the only realistic thing to do that makes any sense is to take the baby step route. One foot in front of the other. Make sure both feet are in stable contact with the ground, and try to take a few steps forward, even if they’re little steps. Then stop and recognize that you made some forward-leaning progress, and feel good about how you successfully gathered up your courage and TRIED.

Heck, THAT ALONE is an achievement! And even better when it leads to another several steps forward. And before you know it, you’ve taken a few dozen steps and those steps got you to some help that might make sense.

For us, it was one-foot-in-front-of-the-other, over and over again, til we suddenly realized it was the end of August and the whole damn thing got DONE.

THAT was both startling and tremendously gratifying! We actually were pretty proud of ourselves and all those little baby steps, cuz all those baby steps headed directly to the Finish Line!

And PLEASE keep this in mind: anything you’re doing to confront the problem or get over being overwhelmed by it, no matter how small or ridiculous or unrealistic you THINK your efforts are, it all means you’re on the road to getting it intelligently DEALT WITH. And TAKEN CARE OF.

Do NOT forget that, my friend! Let the Grateful Dead refrain about “what a LOOOOOOOOONNNNG strange trip it’s been…” carry you through every day. And please keep in mind that NOTHING lasts forever. Not the good times. And DEFINITELY not the bad times. George Harrison had an album called “All Things Must Pass.” And all things do. INCLUDING THE BAD PARTS!!!!!

HUGS GALORE to you, slightlv! You’ve shared all of this with your DU brothers and sisters. And THAT means you’re automatically NOT trudging through this alone. And as our beloved Skittles has reminded: “someone’s always here.” Don’t forget THAT, either.



PS: Sorry I went on so long.

Recommendations

3 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

How do I get through this? [View all] slightlv Oct 4 OP
perhaps if you shared your general location there might be more response nt msongs Oct 5 #1
Wishing you all well TommyT139 Oct 5 #2
Thanks! I'd already planned to do some research, you gave me a place to start! n/t slightlv Oct 5 #13
When my late DH started becoming confused due to Parkinson's, he did marybourg Oct 5 #3
I hate to go to those lengths, but I'm holding them in my slightlv Oct 5 #14
1+ keithbvadu2 Oct 5 #4
I don't really have anything helpful to say except I'm so sorry you are going through this. HeartsCanHope Oct 5 #5
Change the password to your checking and savings accounts. Tess49 Oct 5 #6
Actually, you and I think a lot alike. slightlv Oct 5 #15
I understand your concerns about auto pay. My auto pays are for my utilities, and are posted on the due date of the bill Tess49 Oct 5 #22
If you can't depend on when your autopays get deducted, you PoindexterOglethorpe Oct 15 #26
At first TommyT139 Oct 5 #21
Sending you love BrianTheEVGuy Oct 5 #7
The one hubby gotten taken in by has claimed a LOT of people here in the Midwest. slightlv Oct 5 #16
At least you can vent here. calimary Oct 5 #8
Thank you, calimary. slightlv Oct 5 #17
Oh man... calimary Oct 6 #24
Thank you.. slightlv Oct 6 #25
In early stages Alzheimer's, my hubby gave permission... SleeplessinSoCal Oct 5 #9
We've already done the CT scan. That's why I know it's "normal" aging. slightlv Oct 5 #18
My David secretly told the neurologist about his concerns. SleeplessinSoCal Oct 5 #23
Based on personal experience Lulu KC Oct 5 #10
Love your last sentence! :) slightlv Oct 5 #19
If you haven't already, it might be time to look into laws/process for conservatoryship Attilatheblond Oct 5 #11
We can be sure that we're not sissies! WhiteTara Oct 5 #12
Thank you for your thoughts, Tara. slightlv Oct 5 #20
Just your first two sentences PoindexterOglethorpe Oct 15 #27
Good for you! slightlv Oct 15 #28
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