Lost my last horse on Monday- I have "empty barn syndrome" [View all]

We have had one or more horses at a time for the last 37 years. My horse died 5 years ago; we just had the pony left. He was 30 and not rideable due to laminitic feet but he kept me in equine mode- doing stalls, farrier, vet and trips to the feed store.
He became ill on Monday - after two vet visits and with him still in pain, it was time to say goodbye.
The daily routine is changed- no putting him out, no bringing him in, no stall to clean, no Cushings medicine to mix with oats and applesauce. No more looking for him out in the field, no more buying carrots on 5 lb bags
It’s the end of an era; a phase of my life now done. I’m not a horse mom anymore. *sigh*