I'm staying alive for my dog and my cat [View all]

because I made a commitment to take care of them and I intend on keeping it.

I have come to regret , however, that I was revived after a near death experience in 2007. I think I have written about it here before, long story short it was due to a doctor error that caused my blood pressure to drop to the point where my heart and breath stopped temporarily.

I know many don't believe in an afterlife and I am okay with that. All I can tell you is even though in reality I was lying on a cold side walk in March, I felt warmth and saw I was lying in a field of sunflowers. I looked up at the sun and felt myself rising towards it. I had never felt more loved and at peace before or after. The words I am going home kept repeating in my head.

I snapped out of it when I heard my Mom and my sister begging me not to leave them. My Mom died a year later.

All I can think is it sucks that I am now stuck in a world that resembles the one I read about in history books, and made me so scared of and angry at the inhumanity of some of the human race. I thought by studying history and sharing what I learned, I could maybe play a small part in helping us never to go down that road again, but no one listens, and here we are heading that way again. I feel powerless, useless and terrified, and can't help but think if I had just let go then, I wouldn't have to witness my worst fears coming true.