Mental Health Support

It is not a pressing matter at the moment, but since the landlord is (supposedly... we are still not sanguine about this ever actually happening) getting married, we are pretty sure that, like everything else, he has not thought about what it means or what will happen because of it. He is such a child in so many ways (although physically, he is middle-aged) that we don't know what he will decide or when that will happen. Being in a state of complete uncertainty is such a drain on what little energy I have left. It sucks wondering if you are going to have a place to live in 6-12 months because your husband is being railroaded by his job, you have been little more than a horror show for almost ten years, and you are in a place where you have no friendly quarter. It sucks and I am so afraid for my husband. I am just hoping to have a nice big heart attack soon enough so I am not as worried about myself. (I was recently told that 'people would not care about me because I do not care about me'. I was unaware that a person's desire to care about someone was connected to that person's view of themselves. Regardless, they were right about how little I care about myself. Why should I? What purpose would it serve? I am not worth anything. And, thanks to the past ten years, I have to accept that I was never worth anything. Neither from my estimate, or anyone else's. Despite what some say about such things, this situation is NOT entirely my fault. I am the one paying the price for it though. Those who helped put me here have paid nothing. If anything, they are doing better than they were when the aforementioned things happened. Why bother after that?