At first, it was the market. Then, it was my health. I tried. I really tried. NO one cares about those who try. As the wise Yoda once said, "NO! Try not! Do! Or, do not! There is no 'try'." Well, try is all I have. I have a library of music of my own creation. Useless. Pointless. I have a library of some of my work over the years in various media. Useless. Pointless. Forty-five years for nothing. It is what I wanted in life. Why stick around when your life's work is nothing but a failure to keep yourself and your spouse alive? Why continue to breathe when what you poured your soul into means nothing to anyone else? Remember... 'entertainer'. If no one is entertained... well, that's that. For other performers out there, they know. Once the bug bites, it does not let go. It does not compromise, even if you manage to. Plus, there is a major conundrum in my situation. You should see some of my old reviews. How can anyone who managed to always to be well received, even when the rest of the production was canned, never get a break? If I was as good as they said I was, and if the tales of the 'Dream' were true. Either this nation lied to me about the American Dream and my chances or I am fucking cursed. Either way, it spells a waste of skin and a waste of time. Why bother?
Again, I am sorry. This is actually as pointless as my life is, as there is nothing to be gained by trying to destroy anyone else's perceptions. For those of you who managed to steer through this hellscape of a country and a period in time, congratulations. Just remember those of us to were in the race as well but either got run over by the masses or just were not built to race. We prefer to stroll. Which is why we got run over in the first place. Because racing is the only option we have anymore.
= new reply since forum marked as read