Do you know if you ruptured a disc again? Were you doing anything the day of or before that might have caused it? I've had to purposefully retrain my body to approach different movements (e.g: sitting, then swiveling when getting in/out of a car.) I've also had to abandon certain training (was an advanced Tang Soo Do student and up until the accident, would spend a half-hour every night whaling on a body bag with my arms and legs, a lot of torsion. That's been replaced by an elliptical and other low impact stuff). Currently pain free and pain-med free, check back tomorrow.
I get what you're saying about it affecting your marriage. For me, it was very humbling to know that I'd reached a point where it would be tough, if not impossible to protect my family if something were to go down. The day-to-day leaning on my wife for simple tasks made me feel a lot of guilt, even though it couldn't be helped. I channeled that guilt into a double-down low-impact routine. I finally managed to leave 15 pounds and a lot of emotional baggage behind.
But that pain... I'll never forget it. It never leaves, always either tapping you on the shoulder or kicking you square in your ass, taunting you. There's nothing you can do about it. I wish I had a magic something for you that could take it away. I guess all I can say is to watch that you don't slip into a dark place. I did for a little while, and it just made things worse. Find a position that offers *some* relief a few times a day, for me it was flat on my stomach, and maintain it long it enough to relax and give your *mind* a moment to relax. The pain will be back, and waiting on you afterwards. Might as well keep it waiting as long as possible.
Positive vibes your way. PM me anytime if you ever need someone to talk to. I understand your pain.