Cancer Support

My dad had lung cancer. He battled it for over 10 years. The first few years he was kind of ok in terms of mood and such, but the longer it dragged on, and the more and more and more treatments he faced the worse it got. He, too, was very angry. Angry at the cancer, angry at the treatments, just angry. Of course they don't let their anger out at work, at the doctors, or elsewhere, so it just bubbles out at home.

It's very hard to deal with - this person who prior to this was wonderful, loving, compassionate. I just kept telling myself and my mother that it was the disease talking, and not him. For me, after I got over the initial "oh my god, why is he acting like that??" feelings, I decided that he trusted us enough to let the anger out with us. That outlook didn't necessarily help all of the time, but it did help me keep things in perspective.

Just know that your husband doesn't mean it. He is feeling helpless, weak, and scared. Men usually don't know how to deal with that well, especially men over 50 who grew up a certain way (real men don't cry, don't you know...).

Please feel free to PM me if you want to chat. I can't do much but listen and let you vent and get YOUR anger and hurt feelings out, but if you think it will help, I'm here.

Hugs to you and your husband. Thinking good thoughts for both of you.