Addiction & Recovery

Sobriety is better because I don't feel the need to question it. It simply is. And in sobriety, life's benefits and tribulations are experienced and processed as the continual flow and ebb of an existence lived in relative serenity.

I say ‘relative serenity’ because the reality of sobriety is that there is no serenity in stasis. In sobriety, we recognize that all experiences are transitory. But rather than obsessing upon select moments and finding them intolerable, or just uncomfortable, and from there seeking escape through alcohol or drugs, we recognize that each moment is precisely what it is: A moment, a finite experience, and as such we know it will pass.

No longer do I wake in the moment, head racing uncontrollably, a terrible sense of calamity hovering above, wondering and wishing, hoping and praying that I might be flushed from the madness of drink. No, I wake today with expectations of the future and a heart of hope and love.

The Psalmist tells us, “Be still, and know.” That is the fruit of my sobriety. The strength to be still in myself, and the power to know who I am and, better yet, who I want to be.

Is it sucessful? Enough that I no longer question it. Is it permanent? By no measure. I do, however, accept that all shall pass, both the good and the bad, and that love will be left as the only thing permanent in my life.

So I’m left where I began, with your question: Is it better? Conside this: All my thoughts, all my wishes at the moment, are that you shall find peace within yourself. How many drunkards in their cups spend their moments thinking, and hoping, for the welfare of others? I find that a more than adequate tradeoff from the misery of my drinking.