I could drink today rambling I'm brand knew at sobriety [View all]

Day 12 I think no beer gonna get boys off school. And head to recovery house for meetings, 0600-2200 a meeting every hour. Four day work week still recovering from this sciatica, I dropped the naltrexone for booze. Because of the pain medicine I was taking, I had eight months no alcohol and then I drank. And I have made a meeting everyday since I got drunk.

I am thinking you know I had eight months sober maybe I should start naltrexone again. I had eight months and alcoholism is a disease, I met this guy 26 years sober we have talked outside of meetings. Perhaps he will end up being my sponsor he gave me his cell number and he said 24/7 anytime you contact me.

Triggers WTF I woke up made coffee and headed out on back porch steady rain. And I started thinking a beer would taste good.

Another trigger is being tired

Or winter time when it snows yup snow, and it’s not that snow stresses me out well it does. Well it does when I drive truck in it ice works me. Sucking that driver seat up my rectum at times.

No snow and rain reminds me leg land mech infantry in army west Germany out in field sitting in a M-113 as kid drinking beers in the field on downtime. We were moving on maybe very little sleep a day Times 36 hour days.

I have to figure this out so I’m not crying and asking no sympathy just doing something before I hit meetings. I text dude from meetings so we’re gonna meet 0800 at recovery house. I’m thinking I’m gonna hang until my wife is done at noon today pick her up. Maybe do lunch then go fishing with our boys this evening after school. I just sit and listen to these men and women I don’t talk but I wanna be like them sober with this affliction.