The Official Guide to Legitimate Rape [View all]

Yesterday, Missouri Rep. Todd Akin, Republican Senate nominee and member of the House Science, Space and Technology committee, said pregnancy from rape was "really rare" because "if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." Akin quickly said that he "misspoke," but he didn't rescind his claims that women have magical sperm-defying ovaries — or that there's a hierarchy when it comes to different "levels" of rape.

If you're unfamiliar with the exciting concept that your uterus can pick and choose between various kinds of rape, don't fret. We have just the guide for you.
Non-Pregnancy Rape

For decades, conservatives have claimed that women can't get pregnant from "legitimate" rape thanks to their wise, all-knowing uteri, psychic "juices" and Spidey Sense-like "secretions." (Hmm, if legislators can applaud our vaginas for being so omniscient, how come they can't let us control them?)

In 1998, Republican Pennsylvania Rep. Stephen Freind said the odds that a woman who is raped will get knocked up are "one in millions and millions and millions" because rape causes a woman to "secrete a certain secretion" that kills evil sperm. I don't know about you guys, but my "secretions" are so judicious that they start flowing the second after an Ayn Rand-lover approaches me at a bar, before he can even utter the word "Objectivism." I guess my vag is just highly evolved.

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http://jezebel.com/5936160/the-official-guide-to-legitimate-rape


Much more craziness at the link.