Feminists

iris27

(1,951 posts)

29. A wife and husband, assuming they are equally able-bodied, should be equal contributors to the life

Reply to Old and In the Way (Original post)

Sat Feb 25, 2012, 12:02 AM

Feb 2012

they have built together. This doesn't necessarily mean both equally contribute at home and both equally contribute financially, but there should be an overall balance in what both are doing.

Many times, though - not saying that this is necessarily the case in your situation, but sociological studies have found, on average, that wives do literally double the amount of the unpaid, day-to-day "stuff" that keeps life running smoothly compared to husbands, and that husbands consistently overestimate the amount of time they spend on such tasks, and underestimate the time their wives spend, when both are compared to an objective timing device.

However, in your particular case, it sounds like there may be other issues in play, and I'll echo elleng's suggestion that both financial and relationship counseling might be beneficial.

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Should a feminist wife be an equal contributor to the household finances? [View all] Old and In the Way Feb 2012 OP

Have you talked with her about it? DURHAM D Feb 2012 #1

Yes. ForgoTheConsequence Feb 2012 #2

Yes. elleng Feb 2012 #3

She claims to be a feminist and she's run for state -wide office. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #10

Well. ForgoTheConsequence Feb 2012 #11

And let's not forget -- all that UNPAID work IS a financial contribution too Remember Me Feb 2012 #21

Most feminists I know want to be in the workforce. You need to sit her down and show her southernyankeebelle Feb 2012 #4

We've been married 30 years Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #9

Don't mean to be sarcastic, but sort of do: elleng Feb 2012 #17

Actually, I'm not. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #35

YOU ARE. I am a wife. I worked for the whole time my husband was in the military and southernyankeebelle Feb 2012 #18

I'll be the contrarian here. cloudbase Feb 2012 #5

Nothing contrarian about it, cloud. elleng Feb 2012 #7

I'll be a contrarion and say, other tha giving birth, I was totally involved. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #15

Uh, unless you didn't go out of the house to make that income Remember Me Feb 2012 #25

I've working out of the house for 15 years, Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #30

Hasn't 'worked,' or hasn't 'worked outside the home?' elleng Feb 2012 #6

As well as ways you can take some of the household responsibilities to free up her time. nt FLyellowdog Feb 2012 #12

Here's the problem in a nutshell. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #13

Serious problems, can be worked out. elleng Feb 2012 #16

Thanks for the advice, but I doubt either of us will get counseling. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #28

Happy to hear that you love a lot, elleng Feb 2012 #33

They do...kids are fine. Sadly, this went done on our son's 23rd birthday today. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #36

First, here is a link that may help: REP Feb 2012 #20

And NONE of it should be brought here for discussion Remember Me Feb 2012 #27

You're probably right...you should have addressed it to me directly, though. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #32

By the time I got to that point I thought I'd said enough, Remember Me Feb 2012 #37

What is the dynamic of those 20 years? Ruby the Liberal Feb 2012 #8

2 people can't handle finances. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #14

Are you suggesting that keeping the household running smoothly kestrel91316 Feb 2012 #19

Not in our case. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #24

ouch. Whisp Feb 2012 #26

I'm sorry you're fighting with your wife about money. ZombieHorde Feb 2012 #22

Just so everyone knows....I doubt our situation is differnet from millions of Americans. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #23

A wife and husband, assuming they are equally able-bodied, should be equal contributors to the life iris27 Feb 2012 #29

Addressing only your OP, of course there will be unequal financial and other contributions. In uppityperson Feb 2012 #31

Kind of why I posted here, uppityperson. Old and In the Way Feb 2012 #34

People, please stop responding. This is NOT the proper place to play Remember Me Feb 2012 #38