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Why “Yes, But” Is the Wrong Response to Misogyny [View all]
Not sure if anyone here has read about the incident on the atheism sub reddit thing (I don't do reddit, for reasons which will become clear shortly), in which a 15-year-old girl posted a picture of herself holding a book she got as a gift, and was responded to with an avalanche of misogynistic idiocy.
Anyway this blog concerns the type of responses that too often crop up when discussing incidents like this.
I saw it at feministe.us, but I'm including the link to the original post as well.
http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2012/01/04/why-yes-but-is-the-wrong-response-to-misogyny/
http://freethoughtblogs.com/greta/2011/12/29/why-yes-but-is-the-wrong-response-to-misogyny/
“Yes, but… not all men are like that. And if you’re going to talk about misogyny, you have to be extra-clear about that.”
“Yes, but… misogyny doesn’t just happen in (X) community (atheist, black, gay, etc.). In fact, it’s worse in some other communities. So it’s not fair to talk about misogyny when it does happen in (X) community, as if it’s something special that we’re doing wrong.”
“Yes, but… (X) community where misogyny happens has some great things about it, too. It’s not fair to paint everyone in it with the same brush.”
“Yes, but… the woman/ women in question could have done something to avoid the misogyny she got targeted with. She/ they could have stayed anonymous/ concealed her gender/ dressed differently/etc. I’m not saying it’s her fault, but…”
“Yes, but… misogyny doesn’t just happen in (X) community (atheist, black, gay, etc.). In fact, it’s worse in some other communities. So it’s not fair to talk about misogyny when it does happen in (X) community, as if it’s something special that we’re doing wrong.”
“Yes, but… (X) community where misogyny happens has some great things about it, too. It’s not fair to paint everyone in it with the same brush.”
“Yes, but… the woman/ women in question could have done something to avoid the misogyny she got targeted with. She/ they could have stayed anonymous/ concealed her gender/ dressed differently/etc. I’m not saying it’s her fault, but…”
More at link.
Edited to add: I agree overall, but disagree with the decision to describe this nonsense as if it comes solely from men. I never see this happen without at least one or two women cheering/dismissing/excusing/rationalizing misogyny right along with the men. Never.
6 replies
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