(RNS) — The Supreme Court on Tuesday (March 31) struck down Colorado’s conversion therapy ban, siding with a therapist who argued her First Amendment rights were violated by a state law prohibiting her from working with clients to attempt to change their sexual orientations. While conservative Christians and pro-conversion therapy groups like the Changed Movement are celebrating the decision as a victory, many queer Christians who have survived so-called conversion practices, like myself, see this as a moment of lament.

Kaley Chiles, the therapist at the center of the case, argued bans in Colorado prevented her from exercising her free speech to offer counseling aligned with her Christian religious beliefs, which include assisting clients who wish to live in accordance with their religious convictions. In an 8-1 majority, the court agreed.

(snip)

Today, conversion therapy is often framed as talk therapy and marketed as a compassionate response for people questioning their sexuality. But the reality is that in every organization or ministry that promotes these practices, there’s no rulebook and no formal certification process. It’s all based on a mix of pseudoscientific theories adopted from the McCarthy era, dressed up with spiritual undertones.

I know this because I lived it for eight years. The guidance I was given ranged from the practical — “Don’t watch gay porn” — to the outlandish — “By developing platonic relationships with other men, my sexual desires for them would disappear.” But what it truly does is try to disintegrate a person’s body, mind and spirit.