Foreign Affairs

A Ukrainian man in uniform walks into a bar, and sees an American, a Frenchman, a Brit, and a Pole - all young guys in good shape that looked as though they had military training.

"Thank goodness!" he thinks - and introduces himself, asking them if they'll join him in fighting for his country at Mariupol.

"You bet, buddy!" the American says. "This fight is for truth, justice - and the American way. Count me in!"

"Absolument!" says the Frenchman. "Zis fight is for ze dignity of man, and ze human condition. Allons-y!"

"Right you are, my good chap." the Englishman adds. "It's about bloody time we give those bloody Russkies a bloody nose!"

"Sure," says the Polish guy, shrugging bit. "I'm lonely, and my mother is always telling me that I need to Marry-a-Pole."