Vegetarian, Vegan and Animal Rights

Extra-firm tofu
Liquid Smoke
Soy Sauce or Tamari

Freeze and thaw tofu
Squeeze mightily to remove as much water as possible
Slice the tofu block crosswise into 1/4" cutlets
Dribble Liquid Smoke and Soy Sauce (or Tamari)
Fry in corn oil, medium heat, browning on both sides

Corn oil is one of my secrets to giving things a comfort-food-y mouth feel. It's not the healthiest oil, so use it infrequently. You can always use your favorite cooking oil.

You may need to play with the seasonings to get the flavor you like, but this is really close to bacon. Experiment with the cooking time to get the texture you like (crisp outside, chewy inside? firm all the way through? soft?).