Rest of country relieved they can still look down on Alberta

11 HOURS AGO by LUKE GORDON FIELD ( @LUKEMAYBEFUNNY )

OTTAWA – In the wake of Danielle Smith’s re-election as Alberta Premier, the other Provinces and Territories breathed a sigh of relief that, if nothing else, they can continue to shit on the Province of Alberta to make themselves feel a little bit better.

“Between Toronto falling into a state of decay and the Leafs leafing once again, it’s been tough times,” said Ontario resident Dalton McDaniels. “But for the next four years I’ll be able to say ‘at least we didn’t elect the vaccine equals Nazi lady,’ and that makes my heart warm.”

“Not like Ontario would ever elect a polzaring right-wing figure with a history of saying controversial things,” he added.

Smith won her election campaign by committing to a disciplined messaging strategy that convinced voters she was not the same lunatic who had been saying crazy things on the radio for the last 3 years. Now that she is securely in power she will almost certainly undo all that work and go back to talking about things like an Alberta exclusive oil pipeline that just circles the province, or declaring that people who get the flu shot are worse than Genghis Khan. At least, that’s what residents of 9 other Provinces are hoping for.

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