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electric_blue68

(25,623 posts)

69. For both your safety and his you had to do it, even with your understandable feelings...

Tue Dec 23, 2025, 08:34 PM

21 hrs ago

Hopefully good visits with him as he adjusts.
Maybe the place has a ?social worker who can also talk to you and your adjustment.

And anther suggested reach out to your friends. I'll add any understanding family.

Enjoy your Holidays, as you can.
{hug}

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Well, it's done. My husband is in a memory care facility. The first 24 hours [View all] Ziggysmom Yesterday OP

Sweetie, you did the right thing. SheltieLover Yesterday #1

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. You cared for him out of love and you put him in the facility out of love. CousinIT Yesterday #2

You're doing the best thing for you and your husband, even though he might not think so. Perhaps the SWBTATTReg Yesterday #3

Some good advice re the memory care place. electric_blue68 21 hrs ago #67

Hugs to you Duncanpup Yesterday #4

This heartbreaking moment is truly an important accomplishment. enough Yesterday #5

Had to send my Mom to a memory care facility because she had become too confused to live at home Ocelot II Yesterday #6

Oh, my dear. I have no advice except to say please know you have done the right thing for him, Scrivener7 Yesterday #7

You identified the key issue. You couldn't function anymore Raven123 Yesterday #8

I worked in a short-term psych facility years ago TBF Yesterday #9

Comfort and acceptance a nurse gave me Marthe48 Yesterday #10

100% certain you are doing the right thing. Irish_Dem Yesterday #11

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS OF SUPPORT! Ziggysmom Yesterday #12

Good on him... CousinIT 21 hrs ago #70

I'm sorry you're going through this JoseBalow Yesterday #13

No personal experience, but have you tried the Seniors forum? Wounded Bear Yesterday #14

Everyone has said what I wanted to say! OldBaldy1701E Yesterday #15

This message was self-deleted by its author Tetrachloride Yesterday #16

Ziggysmom, please try to look at it this way... LuckyCharms Yesterday #17

You are doing the right thing. murielm99 Yesterday #18

One of the things this place is really good for: moral support. calimary Yesterday #19

Yes, and you are doing the right thing relayerbob Yesterday #20

Dear Ziggysmom Niagara Yesterday #21

I can't offer any helpful advice; I read such posts with interest myself because every day brings me closer to the day eppur_se_muova Yesterday #22

You cannot help him bluescribbler Yesterday #23

You aren't a failure you just faced reality. Every Sat for ten years we drove an hour to visit my twodogsbarking Yesterday #24

Love to you, Ziggysmom. littlemissmartypants Yesterday #25

Please don't let the guilt take you Easterncedar Yesterday #26

The other thing you should know: Irish_Dem Yesterday #27

Irish_Dem is correct. TomSlick 21 hrs ago #65

Thanks Tom. I know you have seen this kind of situation go sideways fast Irish_Dem 21 hrs ago #68

Oh how my heart goes out to you Ziggysmom! You have been lovingly hoeing this tough tough row for so long and now this KitFox Yesterday #28

Going through this with my mom right now. Botany Yesterday #29

Hugs to you. sinkingfeeling Yesterday #30

Please don't beat yourself up.. please! mountain grammy Yesterday #31

You are not alone. JustinBulletin Yesterday #32

You did the right thing. He will be angry for a while. Linda ladeewolf Yesterday #33

Care giver or wife? Dear_Prudence Yesterday #34

You did the right thing for yourself and most importantly, for your husband. MIButterfly Yesterday #35

Safety first, for yourself and your husband. Much comfort to you both for the holidays and beyond 💚 Clouds Passing Yesterday #36

First off, I'm so sorry Katcat Yesterday #37

You did the right thing cate94 Yesterday #38

All I can give you is this. mwmisses4289 Yesterday #39

As SheltieLover said, you did the right thing irisblue Yesterday #40

Take care, Ziggysmom otchmoson Yesterday #41

Guilt comes with the territory xuplate Yesterday #42

It's ok to give up the caretaker role and go back to being a spouse angrycaveman Yesterday #43

It's so hard, but you hung in there until there was no other choice. tanyev Yesterday #44

I can't imagine how you feel Sailingdiver Yesterday #45

Time is the best and hardest method. Whatever you do, do not feel guilty. He is with trained and empathetic ... marble falls Yesterday #46

Hugs to you, you did what was necessary for him ascwell as you. Srkdqltr Yesterday #47

If Alzheimer's ... IbogaProject Yesterday #48

Be gentle to yourself justsomeguy01 Yesterday #49

My suggestion to you is visit him as much as you can. That's about the only thing you can do. Fil1957 Yesterday #50

My heart goes out to you. Hope22 Yesterday #51

When my dad started having aggressive confusion episodes KS Toronado Yesterday #52

Your really had no choice, Tesha 23 hrs ago #53

Do not feel guilty ms.pamela 23 hrs ago #54

My mom and her sisters tried to keep my grandmother at home. HeartsCanHope 23 hrs ago #55

Are you able to visit him often, like several times a week? FakeNoose 23 hrs ago #56

See if the staff social worker or whomever has suggestions. 3Hotdogs 22 hrs ago #57

Hugs to you in making this life-altering decision stollen 22 hrs ago #58

Oh, my dear. I wish I could hug you. You did the right thing. Joinfortmill 22 hrs ago #59

You've done well and him a favor. Festivito 22 hrs ago #60

Hang in there. D00ver66 22 hrs ago #61

My friend had to put her husband in a facility days before their 50th anninversary. TNNurse 22 hrs ago #62

You've received so much valuable affirmation here and there's badhair77 22 hrs ago #63

I'm reading your message, and all the repliles, slightlv 22 hrs ago #64

Blessings to you on this difficult journey Richluu 21 hrs ago #66

For both your safety and his you had to do it, even with your understandable feelings... electric_blue68 21 hrs ago #69

There is a book which might help lonely bird 20 hrs ago #71

Hugs! radical noodle 20 hrs ago #72

You're human GAJMac 20 hrs ago #73

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but you did the right thing. Trueblue Texan 19 hrs ago #74

you did the right thing, and chaos in the first 24 hours is to be expected Skittles 19 hrs ago #75

Oh, Ziggysmom, I'm so very sorry. hamsterjill 18 hrs ago #76

Bring some of his favorite foods for Christmas and leave some with staff to give him. Liberty Belle 18 hrs ago #77

You've done the right thing, for him more than yourself. Ilsa 17 hrs ago #78

Breathe Deeply, light a candle, put your feet up. Teacher of the Year 17 hrs ago #79

I have nothing to offer except respect for the fact that you handled it for five years and had the LoisB 17 hrs ago #80

Doing what is best for dear husband rather than what he or you may want takes the most love ❤️. MLAA 16 hrs ago #81

You have done the right thing. PoindexterOglethorpe 16 hrs ago #82

I have no words other than, my heart truly goes out to you Woodycall 14 hrs ago #83

NEVER doubt your decision WinstonSmith4740 8 hrs ago #84

You have done the best for him. TygrBright 7 hrs ago #85

I'll be traveling down this road myself someday Omaha Steve 7 hrs ago #86

You need a really big hug malaise 5 hrs ago #87

Memory care maliaSmith 5 hrs ago #88