The DU Lounge

Then they had to hire someone to stay with her all day. One aunt stayed with her at night, and then my mother and her other sisters traded off watching my grandmother on the weekends. That didn't last very long. My grandmother became increasingly confused and was angry and violent. Within a year she was in a nursing home full time. The fact that you've done this for 5 years while trying to work--that had to be so hard. Your husband is where he needs to be, Ziggysmom. You're not abandoning him, you are making sure he is cared for and safe. One thing that helped my grandmother was our version of a memory book. My mother and her sisters gave her copies of pictures of family members and family milestones, all labeled. My grandmother loved looking through the pictures and talking about the past. Even when she didn't recognize us anymore she remembered who the individuals in the pictures were. She just lost the ability to connect the pictures and us. I'm so sorry you and your husband have to go through this, Ziggysmom. The one thing that comforted all of us was that even when she didn't know us anymore we still got to tell her how much we loved her. The staff at the nursing home was so loving to my grandmother. Several of them came to her funeral. My grandmother passed long before memory units were established, but the dedication of the staff really helped us to cope, (late 1980s). I will be thinking of you and your husband and I'm sending you both hugs.