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Hope22

(4,422 posts)

51. My heart goes out to you.

Tue Dec 23, 2025, 05:19 PM

Tuesday

He is where he needs to be. Don’t second guess that part. I’m so sorry about the phone calls. I thought the facility would have a transition period. I hope he will settle in soon and possibly connect with the people there. My sister was in memory care for five years. It was only two miles from me so I could drop in often. I saw a lot about life there. The staff will work to help him get comfortable. You might let them know about the calls. He may be joining in and doing OK but he may tell you another story. I hope he settles in soon. Be easy with yourself. You deserve a rest and time to regroup. Take care of yourself, rest and eat well, wash your hands often and mask if necessary. Your immune system will get a work out. Love and hugs to you. You did amazing work. 💗🙏🏼💐

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Dear_Prudence

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Highlight:

Well, it's done. My husband is in a memory care facility. The first 24 hours [View all] Ziggysmom Tuesday OP

Sweetie, you did the right thing. SheltieLover Tuesday #1

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. You cared for him out of love and you put him in the facility out of love. CousinIT Tuesday #2

You're doing the best thing for you and your husband, even though he might not think so. Perhaps the SWBTATTReg Tuesday #3

Some good advice re the memory care place. electric_blue68 Tuesday #67

Hugs to you Duncanpup Tuesday #4

This heartbreaking moment is truly an important accomplishment. enough Tuesday #5

Had to send my Mom to a memory care facility because she had become too confused to live at home Ocelot II Tuesday #6

Oh, my dear. I have no advice except to say please know you have done the right thing for him, Scrivener7 Tuesday #7

You identified the key issue. You couldn't function anymore Raven123 Tuesday #8

I worked in a short-term psych facility years ago TBF Tuesday #9

Comfort and acceptance a nurse gave me Marthe48 Tuesday #10

100% certain you are doing the right thing. Irish_Dem Tuesday #11

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS OF SUPPORT! Ziggysmom Tuesday #12

Good on him... CousinIT Tuesday #70

I'm sorry you're going through this JoseBalow Tuesday #13

No personal experience, but have you tried the Seniors forum? Wounded Bear Tuesday #14

Everyone has said what I wanted to say! OldBaldy1701E Tuesday #15

This message was self-deleted by its author Tetrachloride Tuesday #16

Ziggysmom, please try to look at it this way... LuckyCharms Tuesday #17

You are doing the right thing. murielm99 Tuesday #18

One of the things this place is really good for: moral support. calimary Tuesday #19

Yes, and you are doing the right thing relayerbob Tuesday #20

Dear Ziggysmom Niagara Tuesday #21

I can't offer any helpful advice; I read such posts with interest myself because every day brings me closer to the day eppur_se_muova Tuesday #22

You cannot help him bluescribbler Tuesday #23

You aren't a failure you just faced reality. Every Sat for ten years we drove an hour to visit my twodogsbarking Tuesday #24

Love to you, Ziggysmom. littlemissmartypants Tuesday #25

Please don't let the guilt take you Easterncedar Tuesday #26

The other thing you should know: Irish_Dem Tuesday #27

Irish_Dem is correct. TomSlick Tuesday #65

Thanks Tom. I know you have seen this kind of situation go sideways fast Irish_Dem Tuesday #68

Oh how my heart goes out to you Ziggysmom! You have been lovingly hoeing this tough tough row for so long and now this KitFox Tuesday #28

Going through this with my mom right now. Botany Tuesday #29

Hugs to you. sinkingfeeling Tuesday #30

Please don't beat yourself up.. please! mountain grammy Tuesday #31

You are not alone. JustinBulletin Tuesday #32

You did the right thing. He will be angry for a while. Linda ladeewolf Tuesday #33

Care giver or wife? Dear_Prudence Tuesday #34

You did the right thing for yourself and most importantly, for your husband. MIButterfly Tuesday #35

Safety first, for yourself and your husband. Much comfort to you both for the holidays and beyond 💚 Clouds Passing Tuesday #36

First off, I'm so sorry Katcat Tuesday #37

You did the right thing cate94 Tuesday #38

All I can give you is this. mwmisses4289 Tuesday #39

As SheltieLover said, you did the right thing irisblue Tuesday #40

Take care, Ziggysmom otchmoson Tuesday #41

Guilt comes with the territory xuplate Tuesday #42

It's ok to give up the caretaker role and go back to being a spouse angrycaveman Tuesday #43

It's so hard, but you hung in there until there was no other choice. tanyev Tuesday #44

I can't imagine how you feel Sailingdiver Tuesday #45

Time is the best and hardest method. Whatever you do, do not feel guilty. He is with trained and empathetic ... marble falls Tuesday #46

Hugs to you, you did what was necessary for him ascwell as you. Srkdqltr Tuesday #47

If Alzheimer's ... IbogaProject Tuesday #48

Be gentle to yourself justsomeguy01 Tuesday #49

My suggestion to you is visit him as much as you can. That's about the only thing you can do. Fil1957 Tuesday #50

My heart goes out to you. Hope22 Tuesday #51

When my dad started having aggressive confusion episodes KS Toronado Tuesday #52

Your really had no choice, Tesha Tuesday #53

Do not feel guilty ms.pamela Tuesday #54

My mom and her sisters tried to keep my grandmother at home. HeartsCanHope Tuesday #55

Are you able to visit him often, like several times a week? FakeNoose Tuesday #56

See if the staff social worker or whomever has suggestions. 3Hotdogs Tuesday #57

Hugs to you in making this life-altering decision stollen Tuesday #58

Oh, my dear. I wish I could hug you. You did the right thing. Joinfortmill Tuesday #59

You've done well and him a favor. Festivito Tuesday #60

Hang in there. D00ver66 Tuesday #61

My friend had to put her husband in a facility days before their 50th anninversary. TNNurse Tuesday #62

You've received so much valuable affirmation here and there's badhair77 Tuesday #63

I'm reading your message, and all the repliles, slightlv Tuesday #64

Blessings to you on this difficult journey Richluu Tuesday #66

For both your safety and his you had to do it, even with your understandable feelings... electric_blue68 Tuesday #69

There is a book which might help lonely bird Tuesday #71

Hugs! radical noodle Tuesday #72

You're human GAJMac Tuesday #73

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but you did the right thing. Trueblue Texan Tuesday #74

you did the right thing, and chaos in the first 24 hours is to be expected Skittles Tuesday #75

Oh, Ziggysmom, I'm so very sorry. hamsterjill Tuesday #76

Bring some of his favorite foods for Christmas and leave some with staff to give him. Liberty Belle Tuesday #77

You've done the right thing, for him more than yourself. Ilsa Yesterday #78

Breathe Deeply, light a candle, put your feet up. Teacher of the Year Yesterday #79

I have nothing to offer except respect for the fact that you handled it for five years and had the LoisB Yesterday #80

Doing what is best for dear husband rather than what he or you may want takes the most love ❤️. MLAA Yesterday #81

You have done the right thing. PoindexterOglethorpe Yesterday #82

I have no words other than, my heart truly goes out to you Woodycall 23 hrs ago #83

NEVER doubt your decision WinstonSmith4740 16 hrs ago #84

You have done the best for him. TygrBright 16 hrs ago #85

I'll be traveling down this road myself someday Omaha Steve 15 hrs ago #86

You need a really big hug malaise 14 hrs ago #87

Memory care maliaSmith 13 hrs ago #88