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If Witkoff's so keen for Ukraine to cede the Donbas to Russia, I think he should take a good, long look at the prime real estate and mineral wealth and see what he'd be gifting Putin. He could take the opportunity to wave a Russian flag at his pals across the border, maybe shout a greeting or two, sing a chorus of "Боже, Царя храни!"

I also hear there are some neat areas for waterfront development in and around Odesa that would probably appeal to Kushner since events seem to have derailed his plans for new Club Meds in Gaza, so he should go check it out, maybe go swimming, sunbathe for a while, take a pedalo out and pop over to Yevpatoriya for an ice cream.

Or maybe Ukraine should just take the gloves off and take them hostage. They might be able to trade them for a couple of hot dogs.