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“I would not knowingly extend everlasting salvation to an unrepentant sinner disguised as a spiritual leader of a church that supposedly has a shared faith in My command to love one's neighbor regardless of nationality," the Son of God told the New York Times, "I mean, it's right there in My Parable of the Good Samaritan, for My sake!"

"If we're being honest, I'm surprised Luke got anything I said right," the Lamb of God mused, "considering we never met and the poor guy had to fiddle all that info out of illiterate goat herders 70 years after that fucking dumpster fire in Gethsemane."

"But I digress," the the Lion of the tribe of Juda continued, "That person would be in sin by being a complete racist douchebag, and if I have anything to say about it, Christians should obey the word of the Bible."

Instead, the main way the Messiah would minister to the pastor would be “to help him submit himself to the consequences,” the Lord said. "He should absolutely deport himself to that Dad-awful CECOT mega-prison and let the Venezuelan deportees help him to correct his sinful ways. That oughta set him on the right path.”

"I gotta tell you, all these assbutts trying to replace biblical theology with MAGA evangelical politics is really pissing the old man off," the Savior added, "and y'all know what happens when He gets snippy. It won't end well for them, I can tell you that much."