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In reply to the discussion: Is he dead yet? [View all]

Doug Skullery

(7 posts)
20. The Big Beautiful Obituary - Here it is!! (revised)
Mon Jun 1, 2026, 10:43 AM
Yesterday

The Big Beautiful Obituary:

Billions of people around the world rejoiced today as Donald J. Trump died after a lengthy period of suffering that he inflicted upon humanity. He departed the world of the living and returned to Hell, from whence he came, enabling the rest of the world to enter into peace.

Trump's corruption, incompetence, and malevolence were legendary. He will be remembered as the worst President of the United States of America ever, and the only President with four criminal indictments and two impeachments. He was deserving of many more indictments and impeachments, but a broken system of government allowed Trump to go unpunished his entire life. Throughout his tyrannical, treasonous misrule, Trump prioritized self-enrichment, self-aggrandizement, fealty to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, the persecution of minorities, and the looting of national treasure.

Prior to becoming President, Trump was a failed businessman who pretended to be a successful businessman on television. Trump was a profoundly stupid man who managed to bankrupt casinos and go bankrupt multiple times despite being born a rich, over-privileged “nepo baby”. Trump is survived by a large family of shameless, grifting morons including his slutty, mail-order wife Melania, and his obnoxious, degenerate children.

Trump was a pedophile, a rapist, a career criminal, a confidence man, a serial adulterer, a drug abuser, a pathological liar, a white supremacist, a misogynist, anti-intellectual, homophobic, Islamophobic, and Xenophobic. Donald Trump was a petty, hateful man with no redeeming qualities. He was completely lacking in taste, decency, empathy, virtue, wisdom, and common sense, and was the embodiment of all seven deadly sins. However, Trump possessed a strange, inexplicable charisma, much like Adolph Hitler and Charles Manson, enabling him to become a highly successful cult leader, grifter, and Autocrat.

Trump was mentored by his slumlord Klansman father Frederick Trump Sr., red-baiting attorney Roy Cohn, and hypocritical bible-thumper Norman Vincent Peale, some of the worst human beings who ever lived aside from Donald Trump himself.

Trump was diagnosed with a psychiatric condition known as “Malignant Narcissism”, the worst possible type of personality disorder combining elements of grandiosity, entitlement, paranoia, sadism, and psychopathy. He also developed severe dementia at the end of his life, which served to worsen his already horrendous personality.

Trump played a key role in destroying democracy and the rule of law in the United States of America. His cruel, senseless policies and wars of aggression triggered world-wide economic catastrophe and impoverishment. Trump caused untold misery, destruction, and the deaths of millions of people around the globe. His legacy is the destruction of America's power and reputation, perhaps irreparably. His body will be disposed of secretly to avoid grave site desecration and to prevent the forces of evil from regrouping around his wretched memory. Family of the deceased requests that large donations to The Trump Organization be sent in lieu of flowers.

World-wide celebrations are expected to continue for weeks despite reported shortages of Champagne, fireworks, and confetti.

Recommendations

7 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Is he dead yet? [View all] Orrex Yesterday OP
This one malaise Yesterday #1
Pushed by Bing. Blue Full Moon Yesterday #18
No but malaise Yesterday #2
The two bottles of champagne I have in the fridge... SonOfNebanaube Yesterday #24
Soon come malaise Yesterday #25
;-{) CHIRPED TO DEATH Goonch Yesterday #3
That's a good one! Orrex Yesterday #6
I had just read that "chirping" comment in The Guardian, along with niyad Yesterday #10
The solution Wicked Blue Yesterday #30
Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened. niyad Yesterday #4
Cripes, it has to be soon! SheltieLover Yesterday #12
We share a common dream... surfered Yesterday #13
Cerebral hemorrhage from frustration of not being able to get out of the war with Iran. surfered Yesterday #5
Perfect! hlthe2b Yesterday #9
My only complaint..... SergeStorms Yesterday #21
Good catch. I did not notice those. Maybe original autographed issues of Mein Kampf? surfered Yesterday #23
Let's go Blood Clot and Heart Disease LetMyPeopleVote Yesterday #7
"Fearful of the Cornyns, Massies, MTGs, Pauls, Tillis & other R's he has backstabbed becoming... hlthe2b Yesterday #8
That's Don Jr. Erik, and Barron..... SergeStorms Yesterday #22
THIS malaise Yesterday #28
Haha MustLoveBeagles Yesterday #32
Beheaded when the Sword of Damocles fell upon him? SheltieLover Yesterday #11
Ohhhhhhh, I love this one! niyad Yesterday #14
I think that would be an appropriate ending, although anything that gets the job done works for me! SheltieLover Yesterday #17
Another month WestMichRad Yesterday #15
Traded the gold escalator for a free fall descent into the pits of brimstone Blue Owl Yesterday #16
🌞Good Morning! One day closer! littlemissmartypants Yesterday #19
The Big Beautiful Obituary - Here it is!! (revised) Doug Skullery Yesterday #20
Well said. Desert grandma Yesterday #26
Trump, whose title of President was erased after revelations of massive cheating Wicked Blue Yesterday #29
Awesome post! I've copied and pasted it to a Word document for later use, with credit to you on DU, of course. generalbetrayus Yesterday #31
That just about covers it and him. hlthe2b Yesterday #33
I seriously believe there will be an international party. It's going to make the defeat of Orban look like... NNadir 23 hrs ago #34
Alien creatures masquerading as hand bruises take over his 'brain' Wicked Blue Yesterday #27
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