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The Borowitz Report-Only Remaining Musical Act in Trump's DC Concert is Marco Rubio Playing Kazoo [View all]
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/only-remaining-musical-act-in-trumps
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a last-ditch move to salvage his “US Freedom 250” concert, Donald J. Trump announced on Monday that the only remaining musical act will be Secretary of State Marco Rubio playing a kazoo.
“Quite frankly, we don’t need no-talent losers like the Commodores,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “We have Little Marco playing his Little Kazoo!”
According to sources, Rubio is taking his new assignment extremely seriously, spending hours practicing the kazoo in the Situation Room.
In an official statement, Rubio declared, “I am honored to blow anything President Trump asks me to.”
“Quite frankly, we don’t need no-talent losers like the Commodores,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “We have Little Marco playing his Little Kazoo!”
According to sources, Rubio is taking his new assignment extremely seriously, spending hours practicing the kazoo in the Situation Room.
In an official statement, Rubio declared, “I am honored to blow anything President Trump asks me to.”
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