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In reply to the discussion: Is he dead yet? [View all]

Doug Skullery

(7 posts)
25. The big Beautiful Obituary - Here it is!!
Fri May 29, 2026, 09:30 AM
Friday

The Big Beautiful Obituary:


Billions of people around the world rejoiced today as Donald J. Trump died after a lengthy period of suffering that he inflicted upon humanity. He departed the world of the living and returned to Hell, from whence he came, enabling the rest of the world to enter into peace.

Trump's corruption, incompetence, and malevolence were legendary. He will be remembered as the worst president of the United States of America in history, and the only president with four criminal indictments and two impeachments. He was deserving of many more indictments and impeachments, but a broken system of government allowed Trump to go unpunished his entire life.

Prior to becoming president, Trump was a failed businessman who pretended to be a successful businessman on television. Trump was a profoundly stupid man who managed to bankrupt casinos and go bankrupt multiple times despite being born a rich, over-privileged “nepo baby”. Trump is survived by a large family of shameless, grifting morons including his slutty, mail-order wife Melania, and his obnoxious, degenerate children.

Trump was a pedophile, a rapist, a career criminal, a confidence man, a serial adulterer, a drug abuser, a pathological liar, a white supremacist, a misogynist, anti-intellectual, homophobic, Islamophobic, and Xenophobic. Donald Trump was a petty, hateful man with no redeeming qualities. He was completely lacking in taste, decency, empathy, virtue, wisdom, and common sense, and was the embodiment of all seven deadly sins. However, Trump possessed a strange, inexplicable charisma, much like Adolph Hitler and Charles Manson, enabling him to become a highly successful cult leader, grifter, and Autocrat.

Trump was mentored by his slumlord Klansman father Frederick Trump Sr., red-baiting attorney Roy Cohn, and hypocritical bible-thumper Norman Vincent Peale, some of the worst human beings who ever lived aside from Donald Trump himself.

Trump was diagnosed with a psychiatric condition known as “Malignant Narcissism”, the worst possible type of personality disorder combining elements of grandiosity, entitlement, paranoia, sadism, and psychopathy. He also developed severe dementia at the end of his life, which served to worsen his already horrendous personality.

Trump played a key role in destroying democracy and the rule of law in the United States of America. His cruel, senseless policies and wars of aggression triggered world-wide economic catastrophe and impoverishment. Trump caused untold misery, destruction, and the deaths of millions of people around the globe. His body will be disposed of secretly to avoid grave site desecration and to prevent the forces of evil from regrouping around his wretched memory.

Recommendations

7 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Is he dead yet? [View all] Orrex Friday OP
Broken neck from being picked up by a UFO & dropped on his head? SheltieLover Friday #1
This message was self-deleted by its author Goonch Friday #2
Buried under ballroom floor by ghost of first wife? GreenWave Friday #3
We need to pass these hats out when the happy day comes LetMyPeopleVote Friday #4
Hands down malaise Friday #6
You beat me to it! SheltieLover Friday #7
please do! I'd buy one LymphocyteLover Friday #28
Ahhh HAHAHAHAAAAA! TY for the LOL electric_blue68 Saturday #38
No but malaise Friday #5
Hell, if corruption killed, there would be no repuke party. SheltieLover Friday #8
Rocket explosion courtesy of Jeff Bezos. twodogsbarking Friday #9
Contracted hantavirus from all those rats in his Cabinet licking him with praise at their last White House meeting. surfered Friday #10
;-{) BELATED UNREQUITED LOVE LETTER Goonch Friday #11
Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened. niyad Friday #12
We share a common dream... surfered Friday #14
Both "dates" so very, very true. niyad Friday #18
The face sag means we're almost there Submariner Friday #13
Cankles cut off blood flow to heart. no_hypocrisy Friday #15
Post removed Post removed Friday #16
Look at the precious. lol flvegan Friday #17
That was fast. And I had such a nice little welcome prepared!!! niyad Friday #21
Save it. More than likely, you'll have another chance. surfered Friday #24
Welcome to DU! surfered Friday #19
Ripped apart by Lindsey Graham and Stephen Miller Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin Friday #20
Miller called "dibs" on the dingleberries. oasis Friday #37
Humiliated nearly to death after all performers canceled his 250th debacle... hlthe2b Friday #22
Lol MustLoveBeagles Friday #27
😁 surfered Friday #31
The death bell tolled for the Belle of the Ballroom Blue Owl Friday #23
The big Beautiful Obituary - Here it is!! Doug Skullery Friday #25
It is indeed beautiful. niyad Friday #26
And accurate surfered Friday #32
Minor Questions GopherGal Friday #36
Even the country stars are canceling on this Loser TBF Friday #29
Is it possible he had an existential crisis when he finally realized what a massive loser he is-- and his heart gave up? LymphocyteLover Friday #30
The man has no shame. surfered Friday #33
Yeah, but there is always hope it will suddenly appear and flood his system with hormones that cause systemic shock LymphocyteLover Friday #35
Wiped out by the vicious Vomiting Virus Wicked Blue Friday #34
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