General Discussion

(sequentially, not at the same time) was an eye opener into how the legal and human services systems operate.

One girl was 7 years old when I became her Big Sister. She had already been abandoned at birth by her birth mother, placed into foster care during a custody battle between her birth mother and her legal father (husband of her mother, but not her biological father). The birth mother did not want the girl; she just used custody as a battle during their divorce.

The father finally got custody when the girl was 5 years old and complained to a social worker that her foster mother's 19 year old son had "hurt me down there." The son was never charged.

Her legal father had remarried and started a second family. The stepmother resented her and injured her so badly that the child was hospitalized. The girl was returned to her legal father and stepmother after the stepmother completed parenting classes. The stepmother was more careful about the abuse after that, but did not stop.

I met the child AFTER all that had happened. I suspected sexual abuse when she asked questions that no 7 year old should have known about. I was mandated to report suspicions to the director of the BB/BS program. But without concrete evidence nothing was done.

The family ordered the girl to break up a fight between their vicious bull dog and the neighbor's Chihuahua. She got bitten up in the process and went untreated because the family feared that they would lose the dog if someone found out. I saw the bite marks a week later when I picked her up for an outing. I reported it. A social worker from Social Scvs. called me about it. I told him how vicious the dog was (I never went near it) and that it often peed on her bed (which was a mattress on the floor). Her bedding and clothes were infested with flees and urine. I suggested that the dog should be removed because it was dangerous. The family had a 10 month old baby and a 3 year old, besides the 7 year old assigned to me.

The social worker immediately said that they had more serious cases and he would just make a report for her file. I asked him if it would get serious enough if the dog mauled the baby and why not prevent something in advance instead of waiting intil after the fact. He then blamed me that it had not been reported sooner. I said that I did not see the girl until a week later and then reported it right away.

He angered me so much that I told him that I would get the dog out of the house by reporting to the ASPCA that the dog was being abused because society cared more about animal abuse than about child abuse. But if I had to go that route, I would also call the local TV station and give them the story.

Next time I picked her up, the dog was gone. The child told me that "a welfare lady" came with a "man and a dog van" to take the dog away.

Eventually she did report sexual abuse to her teacher after a "good touch/bad touch" session in school. She and her sisters were removed. (She was then raped in the foster home and not believed until ber underwear was tested.)

Her stepmother's brother was charged with abusing her and her sisters. I knew the cop who was investigating the case. She had left a diary at my home for privacy. So I looked into it and discovered an entry about her uncle. I gave it to the cop for evidence. Her uncle was convicted. The children were sent back home against the cop's advice to CPS. 6 months later, the uncle was paroled and moved in with the family again, with predictable results.

Much more followed and this is too long already. My point is that Social Services was too overwhelmed to keep tabs on the case and follow through in person on reports so the case worker tried to shift responsibility to me. The vetting and follow up on foster families was inadequate. I have heard many proven tales about children abused in foster care.

The cop asked me to speak to the girl's teacher about backing up his recommendation to CPS that the kids should not go back home. I had met the teacher when helpng the girl with her reading problems. The teacher refused to "get involved" in something that was up to courts and CPS to handle. She questioned why I was involved, as if I shouldn't be.

Society let that girl down at every step in her life, from her birth to her first and second foster family, to her "don't get involved" teacher, and a later foster care setting. The only people who tried to help her were the cop and me.