Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

cilla4progress

(25,974 posts)
Wed Oct 20, 2021, 12:01 PM Oct 2021

This may not be the right place for this discussion - please correct me, if not.

Have there been conversations here about considering assisted suicide or death with dignity for oneself?

I know so many families who are in the throes of struggling with an elder family member who is for all intents and purposes intellectually dead - doesn't know who or where they are, doesn't rrecognize family members, etc., but is being kept physically alive, because that's what we do in our society. Some are institutionalized. Some are home. All are involving a large amount of money to keep them going. No quality of life . I don't want this for my family. I don't know where it comes from in me


Fortunately I live in a death with dignity state. Any thoughts on this, practical ideas?

10 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
This may not be the right place for this discussion - please correct me, if not. (Original Post) cilla4progress Oct 2021 OP
I live in New York..... SergeStorms Oct 2021 #1
Sounds like you have a point there - about the State stripping resources from these folks.. cilla4progress Oct 2021 #2
I've thought about it for decades. SergeStorms Oct 2021 #7
Fine, except for the person that finds you after your appointment with Mr. Remington. 3Hotdogs Oct 2021 #9
All thought out as well. SergeStorms Oct 2021 #10
It's an unfortunate truth that by the time our infirmities are too great to bear, marybourg Oct 2021 #4
Yes, a definite concern. cilla4progress Oct 2021 #5
It's suggested that... SergeStorms Oct 2021 #6
. 3Hotdogs Oct 2021 #8
Sounds like the perfect forum to me. marybourg Oct 2021 #3

SergeStorms

(19,339 posts)
1. I live in New York.....
Wed Oct 20, 2021, 12:22 PM
Oct 2021

and for such a supposed liberal state, there is no way to end your life with dignity. You wind up in a nursing home or hospice, and suffer the agonies and soul stripping indignities of slow, torturous death. The state takes everything of value from you for that "honor". Maybe that's what they don't want to let go of by allowing legal assisted suicide.

As for myself, when my infirmities become too great for me to bear, I have what I call "Dr. Remington" set aside. It's a 12 ga. shotgun, and one shot to my brain stem will release me from my mortal coil, saving my family the problems of looking after an infirm old man. They're aware of my plans, so there will be less of a shock when it happens. I gave this a lot of thought over the years, and until the state allows a better alternative It's the best solution I could come up with.

My final wishes and expenses have been taken care of, so I won't leave a financial burden on my family. As far as I'm concerned that's my final act on the great stage of life.

cilla4progress

(25,974 posts)
2. Sounds like you have a point there - about the State stripping resources from these folks..
Wed Oct 20, 2021, 12:37 PM
Oct 2021

A Remington is not a good solution for me. Throwing myself off a cliff or baiting a grizz is getting closer. But pills and booze are more my style.

You have an amazing plan in place which you've clearly given serious thought to. I respect it so much. Many (including many here, I'm afraid?) will think this/we are crass or taking this too lightly. It may be offensive. But I am - and clearly you are - serious. This is an excruciatingly personal issue. And who knows, perhaps as I get closer to that condition I may back off? But the notion of making a solid plan while still cogent makes a shit ton of sense to me.

Thanks so much for your input Serge!

SergeStorms

(19,339 posts)
7. I've thought about it for decades.
Wed Oct 20, 2021, 06:10 PM
Oct 2021

I haven't been able to come up with a better plan, as of yet, anyway.

The first germ of an idea came when I watched my grandfather dying in a hospital some 30+ years ago. He was 101 years old and it was just his time to go. His body was completely worn out. He was slowly dying in his hospital bed, fighting - and I mean fighting - for each breath he took. This went on for days, and right there I decided I wasn't going to die like that. It was so hard on him, but it was more hard on the family, to go there each day and watch that horrible spectacle.

They were very, very religious. I'm not. I'm not worried about committing a "mortal sin" or offending some angry sky daddy. As long as a person is of sound mind, and can initiate the act of suicide themselves, an individual should have the choice of how they want to end their life.

It's a shame that most people in this country are tethered to religious dogma, and they refuse to even explore different, more humane methods of ending people's suffering.

I'm in no hurry to go, believe me, but when my time comes I plan - as Frank Sinatra said - to do it "my waaaaay".

SergeStorms

(19,339 posts)
10. All thought out as well.
Thu Oct 21, 2021, 06:14 PM
Oct 2021

A phone call to 911 about a suicidal man will have the police there in minutes. It will not be a member of my family who finds my carcass. But thanks for playing.

marybourg

(13,213 posts)
4. It's an unfortunate truth that by the time our infirmities are too great to bear,
Wed Oct 20, 2021, 03:41 PM
Oct 2021

we can no longer handle a shotgun, find our brainstem, nor remember what we intended to do.

cilla4progress

(25,974 posts)
5. Yes, a definite concern.
Wed Oct 20, 2021, 04:00 PM
Oct 2021


Thinking about this sociologically, anthropologically...as in - how have we strayed from evolution's "plan"... I think humans evolved to remain living in groups intergenerationally, where the younger take care of the older. This would include, I presume, not necessarily having all modern technology at our fingertips to extend physical life, despite intellectual / mental decline. And so be it (in my opinion).

It also means there are not the concerns of today - where do we put mom; is this a good and safe environment; can we afford it...not that ALL issues are resolved, but there would be a basic plan or template.

I don't know...I am probably idealizing how things were 100+ years back. I know there were elders who starved and suffered alone - thus Social Security and Medicare in US, for example.

I just wonder about the tradeoffs of modern society when it comes to how we care for our very young and very old. So often, we have to turn to institutions, rather than the extended family model. Not optimal, in my opinion. Though I guess it's good to have options.

SergeStorms

(19,339 posts)
6. It's suggested that...
Wed Oct 20, 2021, 05:43 PM
Oct 2021

one of the ten commandments "honor they mother and father" was written because the nomadic people in the middle east would abandon the aged to die when they could no longer keep up and contribute.

It would stand to reason that someone of advanced years wrote that commandment, at the very least.

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»End of Life Issues»This may not be the right...